Page 128 of Sombra
When we finish with this tree, we move to another. And another.
The farther I go, the morepissed I get. I keep thinking of Kim, wanting her here, wanting to talk with her. To touch her. To love her.
When we get to the tree where I first kissed Kim, I take my phone out of my back pocket and take a picture of it, overcome with memories.
I want her to know that it meant something to me. It all means something to me. It matters.
Posting it, I finish this tree and takea drink of water. Then I pull my phone out of my pocket. Checking my Instagram, I see that she liked my post.
Wait.
Kim liked my post. The olive post. The one where we first kissed.
I get an idea, but I don’t have time for it now. I keep beating on olive trees for our harvest, shaking down the fruit onto tarps. Others gather it. It gets sent to the Molineros as it has beendone for centuries.
After a few more trees, my mother comes over to me.
“Gustavo, can I talk with you?”
“Yes.” I put down the rake and walk over to her.
She’s running her hands up and down her jeans. “I’ve been thinking, and I owe you an apology.”
“You do. I agree,” I say, not bullshitting her.
“I’m so sorry I pressured you, Tavo. I wanted what was bestfor everyone, and Sonia had me so scared.” She glances over three rows where Sonia is working on a tree with Guillermo. She’s wearing a loose plaid shirt and sweatpants, nothing like her usual overly made-up self.
After she left I washed all my sheets, cleaned the casita, and burned sage inside. It felt violated otherwise, but now it’s restored to being my place. Lonely, but mine.
“You did pressure me, Madre. You kicked out my girlfriend. You ignored my rights. You ignored my feelings.”
“I did. And once I realized that, I had my pride. I did not want to … well, I did think it would be best for all of us, and I trampled over your feelings in the meanwhile. This is not the way I should have acted. I should have worked with you to come up with a solution, not force youinto something you did not want.”
I cross my arms over my chest. While I have been mad at her, while I’ve fought with her, while I’ve disagreed with her, and while she was incredibly selfish … she is my mother.
“I accept your apology, Madre. Now, I am going to get Kim back, no matter what you think.”
She reddens. “Except for her being in the way of you getting together withSonia, I actually like her quite a bit. She’s a very good cook. She’s got natural talent.”
“And she’ll be a great mother for your grandbaby.”
My mother gets a faraway look in her eyes. “Yes. My first. I thought it would be Mari Carmen and Jorge, but it is not to be.” She pulls my hands from my chest and takes them in hers. “My son, I apologize profusely. She came at the wrong time,and I took it out on her. I was prejudiced against her because of my own fears. I will not interfere again.” She looks over at my brother. “Although it is really tempting to go over there and tell Guillermo not to get involved with Sonia.”
“Madre, I think the best course of action is to stay out of the affairs of the heart.”
She nods. “You are wise.” Kicking at the dirt, she says,“I think … I didn’t … I don’t want you to leave me. Leave us. If you go to America, I will miss you, my son.”
“Gotta let me go sometime, Madre.”
“That doesn’t make me like it. I like having you around, my son.”
“Just because I go somewhere doesn’t mean I’m leaving you forever.”
“Yes, Tavo. Yes. Thank you, mijo.” She pats my cheek. “I will go get ready for dinner.”
I slump back in relief.She listened to me. Finally.
By the time the light is almost gone for the day, we’re all sore and tired and dirty. A crowd descends on our dining room, because we’re feeding everyone, even the workers. My mother and tía cooked yesterday for a crowd—warm stews and breads and cooked vegetables. Food that sticks to your ribs.
