Page 45 of Sombra
Nine
Tavo - Caliente
My fist slams down on the mattress next to my hip, and a groan escapes my parted lips. I can’t fucking sleep. My body’s narrow and jittery, like I’ve drunk too much caffeine. I throw my chin back against the pillow and toss my whole body around asif I’m being sautéed in a pan. My restlessness isn’t just from the dry heat of the day lingering like the last guest who doesn’t want to leave the party. It’s my thoughts that are torturing me to utter distraction.
I know she’s the right girl. She just has a boyfriend, and I’m now as desperate for her as I’ve been to leave this place. Maybe more so.
She’s my new American dream, mynew destination. And it seems like everywhere I turn there’s construction on the road keeping me from my destination. I need to find a detour.
I run through our conversation in my head.I just agreed to wear the ring. I’m not sure if I’m actually going to get married to him. I … I don’t know anyone here. I like you.
Do those words mean there’s an opening for me? Because she’s notinto him. I can still feel her body erupting in my arms with all that passion and the electricity and taste of her kiss. My finger traces my lower lip. No woman comes apart that way if she’s in love with someone else. I mean, if I were her boyfriend, she sure as hell wouldn’t think of another man.
Am I reading this wrong? Bending my legs, I bring my feet close to my ass as I press my backinto the bed.
I know who to ask.
Jolting upright, I bound over to my desk and turn on my computer to email my cousin, who’s a good friend of mine—and far enough away not to be able to tell anyone here about this. He lives on a ranch in California with his wife, a therapist. His mother and mine are sisters. I type out what I want in Spanish, then hit Google translate, because I’mfeeling lazy. His Spanish is pretty good, but still …
De:Gustavo de la Guerra
Para: William Thrash
Fecha: 2 de septiembre
Asunto: Woman
My esteemed cousin Will,
I hope that you are doing well and that my aunt and uncle are thriving. I hope your love for Marie grows and grows and that blessings are heaped upon your land. I enjoyed seeingyou last winter. Please know that you are welcome again anytime to visit.
Something has happened.
An American girl has come to live with us for a period of time. She is beautiful and enchanting, and I find her fascinating. The way she looks at me, I think she is interested, but she is promised to another. Should I pursue her?
Un abrazo,
Tavo
I hitenviarand rap my fingers on the desk.
Fresh air, that’s what I need.
I throw on a Coldplay T-shirt and shoes and head outside away from the stuffiness of my room and the rattling of my hamster-wheel thoughts that go around and around but get nowhere. All is still in the womb-like darkness except a few familiar sounds—the gravel crunching under my feet and the whoosh of the wingsof an owl. It’s cooler, but still shirt-sleeve weather. The sun will be up soon enough. My shoulders relax, my breathing becomes regular, and my fists loosen. I knew my thoughts were tangled, but I hadn’t realized how worked up my body was, too.
I have to check on her.
It’s peaceful out here in the country, and we leave the doors unlocked. I slip into the kitchen of the main houseand make my way down the hall. I pause outside her door like a fucking junkie, hoping to hear her steady breathing as she sleeps, but I’m not hearing steady breathing. There’s a tiny inhalation, an almost silent shriek, a long, slow exhalation with a moan, and—
Fuck.
I just heard her come.
I’m going to hell.
As I stand at her door deciding whether or not to go backto my bed, it opens, and a barefoot, messy-haired Kim runs smack into me, making me go, “Oof.” Instinctively, my arms wrap around her. Especially since she’s wearing tiny shorts and a tank top with no bra. Her warm cheek smacks against my chest. She backs up.
“Tavo!” she whisper-yells in surprise, her body freezing up, looking over my shoulder at the bathroom across the hall. “You startledme!”
