Page 49 of Sombra
“I say.” My mother may be small, but she has a backbone of steel. “You know what I expect for you. You have duties to your family.”
“Don’t talk to me about duty. I know it all too well.” My laugh hasan edge of hysteria. To distract myself, I turn to the stove and pour the coffee into cups and hand one to Kim, who sips it, watching us like we’re a tennis match.
“Gustavo. Don’t you care about your family?”
“Of course I do. Otherwise, why do you think I am here?”
I hand her a coffee. She takes it, her eyes fixed on me, and she sighs. “When Franco was in power, there wasno choice. And in some ways it was simpler. We knew what we were doing. We didn’t question it. Life was taken care of.”
“But you weren’t free. I am free now, Madre. I am free to take care of myself.” Pouring myself a coffee, I hold the sugar bowl in front of me, then sit at the table, grateful to be hidden. I beckon Kim to sit by me, and my mother sits across from us.
My mother isstill going strong. “You are not free. You have your duties to your family.”
“I know.”
Her face reddens, and sweat shows on her brow. Her voice wavers. “I forbid you to see that girl.”
That girl who is sitting right next to me. That girl who hopefully doesn’t understand a word of this conversation, even though it’s going on right in front of her. That girl whose hazel eyesare drinking in mine as she enjoys her coffee.
“How am I going to do that? I am supposed to carpool with her every day.”
My mother is now gesturing to both of us and to the ceiling. “You keep your hands off her.”
Now I glare at her. “I’m an adult, and I’ll do what I want.”
“If you do what you want, you will just hurt all of us. Go call Sonia. She will want you to callher.”
I resist rolling my eyes. I want to give my mother respect. But I do not believe she has any right to tell me who to marry. Especially not the fangirl next door. But before I can say anything more, my mother whispers, “I’m scared, Tavo. Living here is all I’ve ever known. If I lose this place, what will happen to me? To our family? To everyone?”
Reaching across the table, Itake her hand and implore her with my eyes. “I’ll take care of you. I love you. I will take care of you and grandfather and grandmother and everyone else.”
“How? As a translator? That isn’t enough.” She lets go of my hands and pulls back.
“Let me figure that out.”
“I am still forbidding you to see her,” she grumbles.
“I hear you. And I am choosing to ignore you. I willnot be held to what you say.”
“I don’t like this Tavo. I don’t like this.” She gets up from the table and gives me a hug. She gives Kim a tight smile and excuses herself in English. Then she picks up her coffee and goes to her room.
Kim’s eyes are huge. “I don’t know what that was all about, but I’m scared I had something to do with it.”
“My mother and I are working out somefarm issues,” I say.
And as I look at Kim, it hurts. I should not let her think that she has a chance, even though she does. Because if I do what I want, my family loses. If I do what they want and marry Sonia, I’m the only one who loses.
But no matter what, I need to leave her alone to her own life.
