Page 113 of Ambiguous
I mean…
I am…
I am so much…
I’m in love with him.
Ilovethis golden man with his plump lips and an arse designed to be grabbed. I love how foppish he is. I love how calm, caring, and stubborn he is. I love him when he’s proper and when he’s naughty. I don’t love him for anything in particular that he does. It’swho he is… and how I feel when I’m with him.
Like I’m allowed to be myself—that’s all he wants from me. I don’t have to perform or put on a show… but if I want to, he’ll watch.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for him. Even change the way I talk about my private life with others.
I love him.
I tug him into me, welcoming his soft, sweet-smelling weight.
He puts his head on my shoulder and smiles. “Hey,” he says.
“Hey.” I kiss him lightly, tucking a knuckle under his chin so he looks at me. “You’re wonderful, you know that?”
“Thanks.” He gives me a bashful smile. “So are you.”
CHAPTER42
Jules
We drop Sam off at work, and my driver takes me home. Not long after I get there, Loren stops by, a weird expression on their face. “I saw the pictures from Beverly Hills.”
I shrug. “So?”
Truthfully, I don’t feel nonchalant. Part of me wants to vomit. I’ve been dreading this coming-out moment for… my entire life. Except now that it’s happening, I feel a tremendous sense of freedom. Like I’m finally living my truth. I’m suddenly giddy, and tears well up behind my eyelids.
My only worries are for Sam. I hope his family doesn’t yell at him, but if they do I’ll go there and talk with them myself. I want to show him off to the world.
I study the photo Loren shows me on their phone screen. It’s of me laughing and holding Sam’s hand. It’s a sweet picture, actually. And it means so much. “Send it to me, please.”
They take the phone back and fiddle with it. “I guess you’re moving forward with a public relationship?”
I shrug again. “Yeah, kinda. I’m still figuring out how I want to present myself. But I’m going to show that I’m in a same-sex relationship. Little by little…”
They sit down next to me on the couch, scroll, then frown.
“What?”
“You’re trending on Twitter.”
“That’s nothing new,” I say, and pull out my own phone. The first tweets don’t bother me.
OH MY GOD I KNEW IT
JULIAN HILL IS SO GAY
All of the ships were real!
He’s one of us!!!!!!! No wonder he flew the rainbow flag <3 <3
He should be with someone else. This guy’s not good enough for him.
