Page 114 of Ambiguous
Even greater than my fear of losing fans is my fear of them hurting Sam. Unfortunately, I can’t control that.
“These aren’t so bad. I can get used to them calling me gay,” I say.
Loren nods, looking fairly resigned.
We both stare at our phones, checking the public reaction. I click over to top tweets, and I’m surprised that what I see isn’t a photo.
It’s aGuardianarticle. “Julian Hill’s Brother to Tell All.”
I gasp. “Wait.What?”
“What is it?” Loren says. They come closer, looking over my shoulder, and do a double take. “What the hell?”
“Fucking Colin,” I mutter, and start reading.
Julian Hill, gender-bending rocker and longtime champion of gay rights, has finally gone public with a same-sex relationship.
“Okay,” I say, taking a calming breath. “That’s okay.”
However, photographs of the mega pop star cavorting with another man are the tip of the iceberg. Julian’s younger brother, Colin, has reportedly signed a seven-figure deal for a candid book about his brother, their childhood tragedies, and “the unvarnished truth” about Julian’s life and relationships.
“Oh my fucking hell,” I say bitterly.
It’s a gut punch.
This betrayal—after all I’ve done for Colin—feels like he’s taken everything I promised to my mother and ground it into the dust.
I keep scrolling.
Sam Stone, prominent gay rights advocate and the grandson of California gubernatorial candidate Fred Stone, was photographed today with Julian Hill in circumstances that suggest a romantic relationship. But according to Colin Hill, that relationship is fraught with falsehoods. For years, Sam Stone has been photographed with his supposed boyfriend, Kurt Delmont, and the two have appeared together in numerous political advertisements and at LGBTQIA+ events. But apparently the two were never truly dating. This calls into question the elder Stone’s ethics and campaign platform as well as the veracity of Julian Hill’s public persona.
No.
It’s bad enough that my brother’s a weasel. But my sweet Sam. He can’t have this on his shoulders. His family will be livid, and it has nothing to do with the photos and everything to do with my brother, who can’t keep his fucking mouth shut.
Speak of the devil.
The front door opens, and I storm to the entryway. “Colin,” I yell. “What the fuck were you thinking?”
He has the absolute indecency to look embarrassed. “It’s a ton of money, Jules. I’ve been sponging off of you. I don’t want to do that anymore.”
“And you think telling my secrets islesssponging off of me?” I’m still yelling.
I’ve never raised my voice like this with anyone. And it’s fulfilling in a way I never thought possible. Even though I’m pissed as all get-out, I also feel relief at finally letting myself show negative emotions, not just positive ones.
Colin sneers. “What’s the big deal? I’m not going to tell them anything they don’t already know. It’s a way for me to get back on my feet—have enough that I won’t need to ask you for help ever again—and it’s not going to hurt you. Any publicity is good publicity, right? You’ll end up making even more money from it. You always do.”
My eyes roll heavenward, and my hands clench into fists. “There’s so much wrong with that, I don’t know where to start. Did you ever think that selling me out to the highest bidder might just end our relationship as brothers? Or my relationship with Sam? That there are things more important than money—like family?” My voice lowers. “Or did you forget how I’m the one who kept us together all these years. How I’m the one who made sure you were never on the streets. And then you fucking betray me.”
“That’s not what this is,” he insists. “It’s just a quick way to make a few quid.”
“Get the fuck out of my house, Colin. I don’t ever want to see you again.”I’m sorry, Mum.Tears form in my eyes, and I squeeze them tight.
“Fine,” he spits. “I’ll leave.”
He tears away from me and pounds down the stairs to the guest room. I hear his door slam, and I can only assume he’s packing the bags he brought with him. With the advance from his book, he can find a different place to stay.
I’m itchy and anxious, and I need to call Sam, although he’s at work right now. I have to move, to get out some of this energy. Normally, I’d go running on the beach, but as I look at the balcony, I see a line of boats on the ocean with lenses trained on my house. I close the blinds and let out a bark of laughter. I’m trapped. If I get in my car, they’ll just follow me. I’m sure there are paps on the street, too.
