Page 19 of Ambiguous
I think I have a crush.
And a silk cloth that I somehow ended up with after our meeting. Part of me wants to make up an excuse to contact him, but I want to be able to go to him with progress on the album.
That gives me another song idea. One about being scared to contact someone I like because I don’t have anything to say. When I’ve captured the concept, I key in the gate code and go back inside, grateful for Sam’s assistance as well as James’s.
Two begun. I grab a bottle of water and go into the studio. Then I sit down and hit record, trying to round out what I’ve thought of on the walk. After years of no progress and so much heartache, I’m writing songs, finally.
I remain in there for hours, absorbed in the work, developing music. It’s not until after midnight that I realize I’m still in nothing but my shorts and haven’t eaten anything in a long time.
And all the while, I’m thinking of Sam Stone. Before I can stop myself, I text him.
Jules: I’m actually making progress on the album
Jules: I don’t wanna jinx it, but I wrote two songs today
Jules: Couldn’t wait to tell you
Jules: Sorry you’re probably asleep
Sam: No, I’m up.
Sam: That’s wonderful! I’m so glad. But it’s late. You should probably take a break, shouldn’t you?
Jules: I do need a break
Jules: My eyes are as dry as sandpaper from staring at the sheet I’m scribbling on and the laptop and the keyboard. My fingers are needing a break from the guitar, too.
What I really want is to ask if whatever I’m feeling about him is as one-sided as my logical mind tells me it must be.
Does he feel it, too? Or am I making something out of nothing?
Sam: You need to take care of yourself. While there’s a deadline, yes, you can’t hurt yourself over it, either.
His concern makes me melt. People like Loren watch out for me, but in general, no one is watching to make sure I don’t sabotage myself.
Sam: I shouldn’t say this, but deadlines are artificial.
Sam: I mean, I bet you could sweet-talk your way into an extension if you had a significant portion of the work done.
Jules: That means I have to get a significant portion of the work done
Jules: And also you have more faith in my ability to, as you say, sweet-talk
Sam: I am fairly certain you could sweet-talk anyone. Even me.
That makes me grin at my phone. Oh, Sam. What I want to sweet-talk you into, you have no idea.
Sam: All I’m saying is, you need self-care to create. Get some rest. Make sure to eat. Don’t get dehydrated.
Sam: Sorry, I sound like your mom.
That brings a lump to my throat. He doesn’t know what happened to my mum.
Sam: Forgive me for overstepping.
Jules: I like it when you overstep
I don’t want to be a pest. But… after all, I have an article of clothing that belongs to him. I’m sure returning it is the polite thing to do.
