Page 65 of Ambiguous
“What way?” His careful tone indicates he knows what I mean.
“Cagey. You’ve never been that way with me. In fact, that’s one of the things I like best about you. While you hide your secrets from the world, it’s never felt like you hid them when it was just the two of us.”
He sets his phone beside him and takes a deep breath, then leans forward, his elbows on his knees. “I guess it’s because you’re hiding one from me.”
I furrow my brows and draw my head back. “What on earth are you talking about?”
His lip curls. “What does yourboyfriendthink about you spending time with me?”
Oh.I don’t miss his pained look or the grimace he makes after he says the words.
I scoot closer, grateful he doesn’t shy away, and focus wholly on him so he can see my sincerity. His deep brown eyes are as expressive as his voice, and right now they’re full of hurt. “Julian. I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Then all those articles”—he picks up his phone again and shakes it—“are lying? The ones that show pictures of Sam Stonewith his boyfriend?”
Of course he’s upset. I don’t know why I didn’t think to tell him about this sooner. I guess at first I didn’t think Julian Hill, rock god, would really be interested in me, much less be jealous.
Except this isn’t Julian Hill, rock god. This is Jules, who worries about not being enough, not being loved. I close my eyes for a second, realizing I’ve truly hurt him. I didn’t even fathom the need to bring it up, because I know there’s nothing between me and Kurt. “I’m sorry, Jules. I should have explained. Kurt Delmont is myfakeboyfriend. We’ve been ‘dating’ for PR purposes for years. We’re just friends. I swear it. I’m not— I wouldn’t have kissed you if I were with someone else.”
Jules blinks at me, and I practically see the wheels turning inside his head, as if at first he doesn’t believe me. Then, after a moment, he mutters, “Christ. You’re telling me the grandson of the future governor of California has a faux relationship so Fred Stone can parade it in front of the cameras.”
I sag back in my chair, nodding. “Our families decided the fiction that we were together was the right narrative, and Kurt and I have gone along with it. But we’re not together.”
Julian shakes his head. “You’re going to have to give me a minute to process this.” He chuckles softly. “I guess… now you know how insecure I can be.”
I squeeze his hand apologetically, wishing I could kiss him or at least hold him, but knowing I shouldn’t. Instead, I give him an arch look. “Julian Hill,” I say. “You of all people should know you can’t believe everything you read. I mean, if I judged you by your online presence…” I let out a breath like “phew” and fan myself. “Em’s mentioned fan fiction about you. I bet that’s, um,different.”
“It can be strange, yes.” He scratches at his cheek. “I’m still stuck on the fake boyfriend thing. I’m surprised you’d go along with a scheme like that.”
Pressing my lips together in a mirthless smile, I raise my eyebrows and say, “Family.”
Jules lifts his chin and studies me, his eyes narrowing. “I understand. I’m just…” He sighs, rubbing his palms over his eyes. “It’s hard for me to trust people.”
“Yeah,” I say quietly. “I bet.”
“How long do you have to keep up the charade?”
“Not sure. I haven’t raised the issue of breaking up. I mean, I have a life and can do what I want. I agreed to this to help my granddad, but they can’t keep me trapped in it forever. Still, I don’t want to disrupt anything right now.”
Jules cringes.
“Sorry,” I say. “That sounds bad.” I glance at him. “Once the album is done, if we still want to, you know, move things forward, I’ll talk to the campaign about how we can spin a breakup.”
He gathers me in his arms, smelling like his rum-vanilla scent plus some kind of pheromone, and kisses the top of my head. “Yes, please.”
“Good.” I sit back and shake out my shoulders. “I need to change the subject, or my ethical rules are going to be in big trouble. What’s a safe topic? Um, what’s the most ridiculous fan fiction you’ve read about yourself?”
He chuckles. “To me it’s all ridiculous, but I’m biased. Do a search. You’ll find something.”
“This should be interesting.” I type “Julian Hill fanfic” into my phone.
A long list of results pops up. I choose one and start reading out loud. “Hashtag Julian Hill slays dragons, hashtag ass for days, hashtag shifter…” I scan the notes. “Where’s the actual story? Oh.” I clear my throat. “‘Jules walks through the castle, a devastatingly intense expression on his completely gorgeous and perfect face. He turns around, and we can see his assless chaps. “Come here, dragon. I’m waiting for you,” he growls.’” I snort. “Oh my Gaga.”
Julian nudges me with his shoulder. “Right?”
“And aren’t all chaps assless?”
“As far as I know.”
