Page 67 of Ambiguous
“Sam likes orange. I wouldn’t have guessed. Can I ask more questions?”
I make a “Go ahead” gesture.
He gets a mischievous look in his eyes and raises one eyebrow. “When’s the first time you kissed a boy?”
My heart rate kicks up. “So we’re going there? Okay.” I tap my finger on my knee. “In college.”Asa. “I knew I was gay before that, but I didn’t have the opportunity. The only gay guys at my school weren’t into me, nor I into them. I ended up dating him, and then no one really until Kurt. Can I ask you the same question?”
He nods. “I kissed a boy behind the caf in secondary school.”
“And he hasn’t sold his story?”
“He’s my best mate. He’ll never tell.”
“Do I need to watch out for this ‘best mate’?” I do air quotes.
“No,” he says with a stroke of his finger on my thigh. “James is like your Kurt. No chemistry but lots of friendship.”
Chemistry. That’s what I feel with Jules. Like he and I react to form something new and better and different. Somethingmore.
“Be good,” I say, putting a hand over his and stilling it. “Otherwise this isn’t going to work.” I’m noticing how close we are. How our legs are touching and I could be in his lap in one move.
His voice gets husky. “I want us to work.”
And he’s just so…here. Sexy-haired and rich-voiced. Sweet and kind and giving me a chance to explain. Seeing the best parts of me.
He wakes me up and makes me want things I’ve never had.
I stare at his lips.
“I want to kiss you,” I murmur, not wanting to pull away and not letting myself move forward. “Even though we shouldn’t. For so many reasons.”
Jules’s expression goes mischievous, and he strokes his chin with one hand as if he’s got a real beard rather than stubble. “While we can think of all the reasons why we shouldnot, it’s a lot more fun to think of the reasonsto.”
“To kiss?”
“Yes.” His eyes are intent on mine.
“And those are?”
He swivels his chest so he’s facing me fully and centers himself, his face serious. Then he takes a deep breath. “Because you’re so sexy I feel like I’m going to explode when I’m around you. Because I’m so fucking attracted to you that nothing else makes sense except to kiss you. And because I like the way you smell and taste and feel.”
Whatever blush I had going on is now increased in density and volume. Just like my dick.
“We need to stop,” I say, starting to move away. “Because I agree, but that doesn’t change the ethical issues. You need to finish the album.”
“Right.”
I look at my hands.
He lifts my chin up with a knuckle. “Sam. This whole album is foreplay.”
Bless us, Baby Spice,itsois. “Am I going to have this reaction every time I hear it?” I gesture to my lap.
The smirk returns. “Hopefully?”
Fuck it.
We’ve done this before. What’s once more?
