Page 70 of Ambiguous
“He’s sort of dating someone else.”
“Jules! Are you the cheating bastard in this scenario, or is he? Because neither looks or sounds good.”
I clear my throat. “Neither one of us is cheating. We’re not actually dating, and he’s only fake dating.”
“That’s perfectly clear. Thanks for the explanation.”
James makes me chuckle. “His position is such that it helps his family with the press if he’s seen being photographed with another bloke. So they’ve pretended to be a couple for years. But apparently they really are not.”
The sharpness in James’s voice surprises me. “Fucking hell, Julie. I can’t believe you bought that line.”
“I don’t think it’s a line. I trust him.”
“Why?”
That gives me pause. “I guess… because I do.”
“Ah. Sound logic. But can you really?”
I sigh. “How do I know if I can trust anyone? I can’t. He gives me a good feeling, though.” And I have to start somewhere. Might as well be with Sam, who has given me every indication it’s okay to do so.
It’s like James’s shrug is audible. “Whatever you say. If you think this isn’t a recipe for disaster, then I’ll support you. But I may say ‘I told you so’ if you end up all angry and hurt because it was you he was faking out and not the general public. So. What are you going to do?”
“Finish the album and then pounce.”
“Are you sure you’ll be ready for a public relationship, even if the album’s done?”
I sigh. Here’s where it gets tricky. “I don’t know. I hate to live my life for the fans, but I’m kidding myself if I say I’m not considering their reaction.”
“There’s only, what, eleventy billion or so that follow you on TikTok.” His tone gets thoughtful. “That’s a lot for you to handle. And what about him? You say he’s familiar with publicity?”
“Yeah, he’s from a political family.”
“That’s not the same thing as your fame.”
“It’s not, but it is in some ways. He knows what it’s like to face the press and answer questions. I think he could handle it. But what if we get together and they tear him apart?”
“Isn’t that a decision for him to make, not you? It’s not like you hide your fame. If he can’t figure out that being with you will make him a hashtag, then he’s not the right one.”
“He’s smart enough to predict what will happen. It’s more that I don’t know how he’ll handle it when it actually does happen.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
“And if it’s a disaster?”
“Then it’s a disaster,” James says. “But it sounds like you kind of want him anyway.”
“More than kind of.”
“Then suit yourself. Finish your album, then go snog your briefcase man.” James pauses, concern in his voice. “He’s not using you, though, is he?”
What if Sam is part of some diabolical plan by Lighthouse to make me… make me… write an album? No. That doesn’t make any sense. I believe in his sincerity. “If he had pic after pic on social media of himself on different people’s yachts”—like Colin—“then I’d be worried. But he doesn’t self-promote.” His family does that for him. “He doesn’t even have social media. At least none that I could find.”
Not that I searched that hard. Social media makes me ill.
“Good.” I can hear James’s smile. “You sound happy. I’m pleased for you. I hope things work out.”
“Me, too, James. Me, too.”
