Page 98 of Ambiguous
He yawns, waking up, and I snuggle close to him. “What do you want to do today?” I ask.
“Be with you.”
“That sounds good to me.” I kiss him.
“Let me feed you,” he says.
I kiss him again.
* * *
After a leisurely breakfast, Sam lies on the couch with his head in my lap while I toy with his thick, soft hair. It’s wavy and lovely. And I like the weight of his head in my lap.
This isn’t sexual. It’s just… comfortable.
Nice.
I hate that word, but I don’t know what else to call this. I basically went through puberty in the public eye, so I’ve never had a normal relationship, and this feels refreshingly normal.
“Sam?”
“Hmm?”
“What happened with your other boyfriend? The one before Kurt.”
He stiffens and furrows his eyebrows before sighing. “We were young and in love, or so I thought. I was going to be a lawyer, and he was going to be an actor, and we’d live happily ever after. But while I was in class, he was meeting with an agent who persuaded him he should break up with me so he’d be seen as available.” He grimaces. “After that, I decided romance wasn’t for me. Because if Asa could fall out of love with me so quickly—just, ‘Oh, let me go get famous’—then I didn’t want anything to do with it.”
“That makes me sad,” I say. “Love is everything.”
He shrugs. “Emily has been on me about that for years.” He reddens, and the corner of his mouth curves in a small smile. “I’m starting to change my opinion about all that romantic shit.”
“But he wasn’t ever out about being with you?”
“No. That’s part of why Kurt and I are so vocal about who we are. It’s not just the two of us in the relationship. It’s us and the whole world.”
That makes my stomach drop. “And what about you and me? What do we do when this becomes more than the two of us?”
“You planning on making us polyamorous?”
I shove him lightly. “I mean when more people know about us than Colin, Loren, Emily, and Kurt. And our workmates.”
“Then more people know.” He sighs. “I do worry about my grandfather’s campaign. I need to talk with the PR team.”
“You dating me will have fallout even beyond the campaign. Whenever any celebrity does anything, people feel entitled to make comments. Are you truly prepared to be by my side?”
He sits up, an earnest expression on his face. “That question is really for you. Are you prepared for the public to know you like men?”
“I’ve never thought that was something to be ashamed of. Just none of anyone else’s business.”
“And are people going to see the subtlety in your reasoning?”
“The only person who matters is you. Do you understand my logic?”
“Yeah,” Sam says quietly. “I do.”
I sigh. “I want to keep you for myself right now. Because once I share you, I’m going to be sharing you for…” I trail off. Forever? For as long as we’re together? “Is that all right with you? You get a say in this.”
“Of course it’s all right.” He snuggles into me, and I hug him back.
