Page 6 of Studious
Whether he wants to do all of that or none of it, I’m here for him, and I always will be. Maybe he’s just a bit down because of his birthday, officially becoming an adult, leaving the kid world behind. I know when I turned eighteen, after I bought a lottery ticket, I felt off—like I’d passed the point of no return, except I kinda wanted to leave open the option of returning.
I reach out to hold his hand. “Looking forward to tonight?”
He stares down at our joined fingers. “Yeah.”
Scooting away from him, I square my shoulders and let out a breath. “D’ya mind please telling me what’s up with you?”
“Hmm? Nothing.”
“Yeah, that’s not gonna fly.”
Brian scrubs his face and sighs. “I guess I’ve been thinking about how everything’s going to change after this year.”
I shrug. “We’ll figure it out.” He’s going to college in Texas. I’m staying here and going to UCLA.
“Uh-huh.” He won’t look at me, and an uneasy feeling comes over me.
Lifting up our hands, I kiss the back of his. “Why are you such an Eeyore tonight?”
Brian doesn’t answer me, and that delay makes my stomach twist up like a barber pole.
“Hey.” My voice gentles. “Talk to me. You can tell me anything.”
“It’s just…” And now that I study him, his eyes are brimming with tears. “I don’t want to do this anymore.” My skin gets this horrible prickly sensation. Is he for real? He’s not doing what I think he’s doing.
“This? What do you mean by ‘this’?”
“You know. This. Us.”
Heisdoing what I think he’s doing. He’s fucking breaking up with me on prom night. He couldn’t even wait until tomorrow or the end of the school year? What the hell?
I manage one word: “What?”
“I don’t want to go out with you.”
“B-b-but…” I take a shuddering breath. “But we’re in love.”
He pulls his shoulders back and looks me straight in the eye, his next words gutting me. “I’m sorry, Danny. I’m not in love with you anymore.”
My lip juts out—a childhood habit I haven’t been able to break—at the same time anger ignites inside me, heating my cheeks. “Are you serious?”
He nods miserably. “I don’t want to go to prom. I’ll pay you for my half of the limo. And the room. And whatever else. I just don’t think I should go with you. I mean,” and now he’s really getting into it, “we’re going away to separate states. We should be free to date other people.”
“But if we’re in love, we don’twantto date other people. We’re enough for each other.”
Brian’s face is devastated, but his words are resolute. “I guess you aren’t enough for me.”
My stomach bottoms out.Fuck. I scoot away from him like he’s poisonous. Maybe he is. How can he be so cool about this? I don’t know if I’m numb or pissed or sad—or all three.
Confused. That’s what I am. Very confused, because this isn’t the way tonight was supposed to go. At all.
He fidgets some more. “Do you want to drop me off at home?”
I nod, and he tells the driver, who seems perplexed.You and me both, buddy. We pass the next ten minutes in total silence.
When we get to Brian’s house, it’s dark out, and the driver opens the door and stands respectfully off to the side, giving us some space.
Brian slides out of the car, teary and regretful. “Just… I’m sorry. I couldn’t go through with it, knowing I didn’t love you.”
