Page 78 of Studious
“Trust me, you don’t want to know.”
I hold up my hands. “Fine. Be that way. Can we start this meeting, please, and avoid discussing my personal life?”
I get a few knowing grins, but they start the meeting.
* * *
For the next few weeks, Alden and I see each other every day at work and, most of the time, both days on the weekends. When we’re apart, I miss him, although work does keep me busy. It’s hectic, especially since I’m getting ready for a trial. Not Johnny’s, but another employment case. Still, I manage to steal kisses now and then.
Alden ends up spending the night three or four times a week. Now that his mom has had her last chemo treatment and he knows she’s doing better, he’s more comfortable taking time for himself.
I map every inch of his body, learning every erogenous zone and sweet spot, and tease both of us by figuring out just how fast—or how slowly—I can blow him. Every time I touch him, it feels like a gift. I finally get to make my vision of Alden on his knees before me real, my hands raking through his curls as my cock slides in and out of his beautiful mouth, his trusting eyes locked on mine. He does everything he can to make it good for me, and his sincerity makes me weak in the knees. He’s not quite a master at blowjobs—he has a gag reflex that doesn’t let me fuck his mouth for long—but his solid attempts make my heart move in a way it never has before.
We still haven’t been doing anal, even though he’s asked. As much as it pains me to deny him anything—and as much as I want to fuck him—I keep telling him we need to wait. I tell myself—and him—that I want him to be absolutely sure. But the truth is, fucking him would be a final exam of sorts, and I don’t want this class to end.
* * *
It’s Saturday night, and Alden and I are on my couch. I haven’t seenFirefly, so we ordered pizza and are watching the show together, with a running commentary from Alden about the characters, how he wishes there were more episodes, and how pissed he is that certain people involved with the show have turned out to be less than savory.
While I’m sort of paying attention to the on-screen action, I’m mostly focused on Alden. When we’re done eating, I tug him into my lap because I can’t stand having him even a few inches away. And once he’s there, I can’t stop my roaming hands. They go under his shirt, tracing his smooth skin. They dip inside the waistband of his jeans. Finally, he turns in my arms so he’s lying on top of me, and we’re making out like teenagers, grinding against each other.
“If you were any other man,” I growl, “I’d be balls-deep inside you right now.”
He pulls back. “Why am I different? Is there something wrong with me?”
I knife up and kiss him. “There’s nothing wrong with you. You just deserve better than me.”
“Stop it,” he says. “You told me we could do that. Are you changing your mind? Because we can do it and still have our arrangement.”
I look at him, emotions warring within me. Because I want him. I want him bad. And it’s not just lust. He’s slaked my lust plenty of times.
I wantAlden.
“Please,” he says again. “Please.”
CHAPTER21
Alden
“Please, Danny,” I beg. “I want to know what it feels like. I want to do this with you. Youpromisedme you’d do it if I couldn’t find anyone else. But it isn’t that. I don’twantto do it with anyone else. I want to know what it feels like with you.” I want the intimacy with him, even if it scares me.
“Okay,” he says, and it’s less like he’s relenting and more like he wants it as much as I do. Then he kisses me softly, just a sweep of his lips against mine. But the tenderness in the move makes me ache.
Everything about him makes me ache. And perhaps that’s the point. He rolls us off the couch and to our feet and takes my hand, tugging me with him down the hall. I shiver in happiness.
In the bedroom, he starts undressing me, slowly, methodically. First, he tugs at my shirt, and I move so he can pull it over my head. Then he shucks his own shirt off, eyes fixed on me. He leans in for a kiss, then mouths my shoulder and my neck, running his hands over me and making my skin come alive.
“Alden,” he says. My name on his lips is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s like heseesme. He seesme.
I help him when he fumbles with the button on my jeans, and when he unzips me, I sigh in relief.
He takes his time shimmying my underwear and jeans down. Then, when he’s between my legs, he looks up at me and grins.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s right here. I can’t not take a lick.”
I’m not sure how I got through life without blowjobs. I was missing out on something so sensual, so incrediblynunghhhh, that I couldn’t even imagine it.
