Page 78 of Curious
“How about that if neither one of us wants this to end, it doesn’t have to.”
“But how will I know this is truly what you want,” I whisper, “unless you choose me?”
“Don’t you know that I’ll choose you every time?”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t think I know that.”
He sighs. “Then let me figure out how to prove it to you.”
I look him straight in the eyes. “I know I’m an impossible pain in the ass. I was a burden to my mom from the day I was born. And that’s not your fault. It’s just … this is me with all my flaws. If you don’t want a divorce, this is what you get. You’re dealing with someone who thinks that they aren’t worth it.”
Cam chuckles mirthlessly. “I don’t think I’m worth it, either. I mean, I got left at the altar. Literally.” He fingers the papers on the coffee table. “So let me get this straight. You think if we divorce, but I still want to be with you, I’ll be proving that I’ll stay even if there isn’t a legal reason for us to be together.”
I nod, then shake my head, then shrug. “Kinda, yeah.”
He swallows, and his eyes look sad. “And I’m the opposite. If I sign this, it means I’m accepting that you don’t want me.”
I inhale sharply. “Oh my god, I didn’t think of that.”
Cam gulps. “Do you want me?”
“I do. I really do.”
“Then don’t do this.” He squeezes my bicep. “You’re not an impossible pain in the ass. You’ve just been hurt. Let’s figure out a way to work through it.”
CHAPTER25
Camden
Ihead for the shower, shaking with suppressed feelings. Anger. Fear. Mostly dread.
My mind flashes from Leah leaving me at the altar, telling me she didn’t love me, to Shelby telling me that we weren’t on the same page at all.
I don’t want to divorce him, and I don’t think he wants to divorce me.
As I wash off the day’s sweat and grime, I can’t stop thinking about everything that Shelby and I have done together. How far we’ve come, individually and as a couple—him burning that awful birthday card he’d been carrying like an albatross around his neck, and me letting go of my humiliation and anger over Leah. How much happier I am with him around.
Clearly, I need to talk to someone about this. Once I’m clean and dressed, I make a quick phone call, then pad out into the living room. “Babe, I’m going to go talk with my sister. Do you want me to bring you back anything?”
He shakes his head. I plant a kiss on his forehead, and he sighs. “No.”
“Don’t move out before I come back,” I warn. “We have a lot to talk about. Promise?”
Shelby nods. He looks so forlorn that I just want to gather him up and hold him, but I’m not sure my presence will help. So instead, I get my keys, phone, and wallet, and I drive over to my sister’s house in Santa Monica. Charlie calls—she must’ve called him—and says he’s on his way, too.
After she lets me in, she produces a tray of cheese, meats, crackers, and fruit, then pours me a beer and gets herself a glass of prosecco. Charlie arrives ten minutes later and joins us in her living room.
“So why is my big brother here, looking like he’s about to burn down Los Angeles?” Reyna asks.
I put my face in my hands. “Shelby has it in his head that when our deal is done—when I’m healed and have health insurance, which is basically now—we need to get a divorce.”
“Is that true?” Reyna asks, biting into a slice of apple.
“Well, that’s what we agreed at the beginning.”
She settles more comfortably on her sectional couch. “That’s not what I asked. Is it true that you need to get a divorce?”
I huff. “No. I mean, I don’t want to. But he’s fixated on an end date. We got married so I could get my ankle taken care of. That’s what we agreed.”
