Page 28 of Prince of the Northwest Forest
Justice’s face is full of disappointment. Gods dammit. I didn’t mean to hurt him.
You knew he’s gay—or pan. You should’ve been gentler with him.
But I didn’t think he’d be disappointed, because there was no way he’s attracted to me. Not with my scar. Not when I’m not worthy of him. He deserves someone who can fight for him and not have the symbol of his past failure on his face.
And it’s not like I could ever act on an attraction, anyway. What’s the point of dating and getting attached? I’m going to be married off to royalty from another realm at some point.
Still, I can’t help but feel like I let him down. IlikeJustice. I like the way he seems to get to the essence of things, of what really matters.
I like his butt.
Oops.Dammit.Don’t think those thoughts, Kalle.
I tell the part of me that’s objectifying him to take a hike. Preferably to Icedonia.
“Shit,” I hear him say. I glance over. He’s splashed something red on his white T-shirt, and he looks embarrassed. “This is why I wear that apron at work. I should get one for home, too.” Hetilts his head. “But I don’t usually need one, and having things I don’t need goes against my principles. Ordinarily, I don’t make a big mess when I’m cooking.”
His babbling is so adorable that I get distracted, and before I can respond, Justice slides off his suspenders and reaches behind his head to tug off his T-shirt by the back of the collar. This puts his naked torso on display, and I inhale sharply. A zap of electricity fires through me.
Justice is beautiful. He’s covered in tattoos that are artistically placed to highlight the lines of his body. They make my eyes go along his obliques, down the ridges of his abs, around his pectorals.
There’s a tattoo of a shield over his heart. It doesn’t have any detail, it’s just the outline, so maybe he’s still working on it.
Firecats. Stop staring.
He walks over to the sink to rinse his shirt, and I can’t help but study the designs on his back. Okay, and the shape of his back, too. Justice is smaller than me, but he’s got natural muscles. Like he’s spent a lot of time being active. Maybe rock climbing or something similar.
Without the aid of suspenders, his jeans are dipping low on his hips, and I find myself looking at the curve of his ass.
Why am I looking at the curve of his ass? I’m straight.
Right?
My cheeks heat, and my dick stirs. “Do you need me to get you a clean shirt?” I spin around to the dresser I saw at the side of the bed.
“I got it.” Justice walks past me and opens a drawer. Inside, the clothes are neatly folded, and there’s a lot of room left over. He truly has what he needs but no more. I like the way he lives.
Justice pulls on a plain navy blue T-shirt and heads back to the kitchen. I realize I’m disappointed that his body is no longer on display.
Kalle, enough’s enough. Stop denying what’s obvious. YoulikeJustice. You think he’s beautiful. You might be attracted to him … inthatway.
Well, hell. I never imagined I’d have a sexual awakening in a studio apartment in Princedelphia, but here we are.
Maybe I’mnotstraight.
Something clicks into place. Something that I might have known all along but hadn’t given conscious thought to: I’mdefinitelynot straight.
Firecats.
My brain is whirring like a potato bug. If I’m attracted to Justice, am I attracted to other men, too?
And now what? Do I tell him? I just brushed him off. Will he think I’m being mercurial if I say something?
Gods, why is sexuality so confusing?
A voice in my head—one most definitelynotsounding like my mother—says it’s not as confusing if I quit fighting my feelings.
Well, isn’t that the truth?
