Page 131 of Hyperspeed
“Funny howyoucan avoid the topic of feelings, but I can’t.” The on-screen map flashed red and blue, and sirens wailed in the background.
“I’ve let you avoid the topic for weeks.” He took a right turn, using a back street to avoid the nearby USE shuttles. “Also, you’re the one who used the F-word, not me. So tell me. Why are you in a funk?”
“I’m not in a funk.”
“Yesterday you cried watchingHow to Lose a Guy in Ten Galaxies.”
“You know I’m a sucker for chick flicks!” I argued, braking hard as a bus cut me off. “That means nothing!”
“Kai,” Jax sighed.
He paused the game and turned to face me. I threw my controller down on the couch but refused to meet his eyes, though I could feel them burning a hole in my skull. The patient motherfucker would wait me out, because I was always the one to crack first.
But I was a different man now, and I could stay strong.
For about thirty seconds.
“I just . . .” Dragging a hand down my face, I reclined further into the couch with a groan. “I don’t know when it happened, just that it did. I can’t stopthinking about him, Jax. And him not talking to me?” My head fell back, and I stared at the ceiling, eyes burning. “It’s tearing me apart.”
I blinked hard, fighting back the tears. I might drive fast cars, but there’s nothing wrong with a good cry. It’s cathartic, and I’d die on that hill.
“I was a prick,” I whispered, voice cracking.
“You were,” Jax agreed. “But emotions were all over the place. It hit all of us hard, Rev most of all.”
I flung my hands into the air. “Exactly! He’d just gone through hell, and I stormed in like a Thraxian in an antique shop to kick him while he was down.”
“Kai, it wasn’t that—”
“You didn’t see him when they opened the door, Jax.” I continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “He was like a zombie; the lights were on, but no one was home. Then I say his name, and he throws himself at me, like . . . like . . . like I’m his saviour or something!”
I stood up and started pacing in front of the couch. “And what do I do? I tell him it’s his fault that Cass is dead.”
“I don’t think—”
“Yeah, I’m in a funk. Yeah, I’m in my feelings. In fact, right now, I’m feeling pretty damn shit. But I fucking deserve it, Jax. I deserve for him to ignore me, because I’m the worst person in the galaxy. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he never speaks to me—”
The doorbell cut me off mid-rant, reminding me to take a breath. A frantic knock followed, and I stared at the door as if it were a black hole.
Neither Jax nor I moved, and I was about to ask if I’d imagined it, when the doorbell sounded again.
“Are you gonna get that?” Jax asked.
“I don’t know.”
I didn’t know who was at the door, but whoever it was, I didn’t want to see them. It wouldn’t be who I was hoping for, and I couldn’t set myself up fordisappointment. So when the doorbell chimedagain, Jax rose from the couch and stalked past me with a put-upon sigh.
“I’ll get it, then.”
I didn’t answer. I just watched in silence as Jax opened the door a crack, clinging to hope like a fool, even knowing it was useless.
“Can I help—oh. Hello.”
When Jax stepped aside, revealing the mystery knocker, my breathing stuttered. My heart beat against my ribs like a champion boxer, because there on the doorstep was Rev.
He wore tight jeans and a clingy T-shirt, dark with sweat at the collar and under his arms like accidental tie-dye. He had twisted his hair into its usual messy bun, but damp strands clung to his temples and cheeks. He gripped the doorframe on both sides, flushed and breathless, like he’d just sprinted to get here.
But he wouldn’t have done that, not for me. Not after what happened.
