Page 122 of Things I Wish I Said
He swallows. “He always said coaching me and watching me play was like reliving his glory days, but better.”
“You were really close,” I whisper.
Grayson grunts out a response, dropping his gaze from the photograph.
Only a foot of space separates us, and it’s all at once too close and not close enough.
I wait to see if he’ll tell me more about him, explain what happened, but he doesn’t, and I don’t push. He’s so closed off, I’m not sure even a crowbar could pry him open. I wonder if he realizes how much. While I’m an open book, he has a padlock around his heart.
I think about what his mother said, about how she felt like my wish was a sign from his father.
Maybe she’s right.
Maybe putting us together was some kind of stroke of fate or divine intervention.
His father’s death broke something inside of him. And I want to be the one to heal him, but I can’t do that when I’m muddying the waters with my feelings. This whole time Grayson’s been helping me, working toward my goal, and I couldn’t figure out why, but now I know. He promised his father, and up until yesterday, he’d been doing better. Since he’s been helping me, he hasn’t been drinking or smoking or hanging out with the wrong people.
It wasn’t until I revealed my prognosis that he lost control.
So, we’ll go on this trip, and I’ll bury my feelings. No more kissing, and certainly no more instances like what happened in my bedroom last week. I’ll shove it all aside, hide my symptomsand avoid talking about cancer and treatments or anything else that’s a reminder I’m dying. And I’ll find a way to remind him that he can still love baseball without his father here. That it doesn’t need to be a painful reminder, but a joyful celebration of the man who raised him.
If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll ensure Grayson gets the closure he needs, and then when we get home, we’ll part ways.
Chapter twenty-seven
GRAYSON
The sun hangs lowin the sky, casting an orangey glow over the smooth, dark water of the lake. I step into the clearing at our usual spot with Ryleigh beside me, our breath mingling with the crisp night air and the chorus of crickets.
Already, I can see the silhouette of my friends waiting for us in the distance, and I brace myself for the shit I know they’ll give me since I’m out of commission for the summer season. Turns out, my doctor’s visit revealed two fractured ribs from the impact of the airbag, which means no baseball until college in the fall.
We close the distance, trekking across the sand to where they’re seated at a picnic table by the tree line. Cameron spies me first and stands, giving me a slap on the back before he makes a show of checking out the current status of my injuries. “Healing up nicely, De Leon.”
I nod. Even though some bruising remains, the skin around my eye and the gash on my head is mostly back to normal.
Ryan, our catcher, stands and slaps my hand. “Hey, man. I heard what happened. All things considered, you got off lucky. Glad you’re all right though.”
Trent follows with a fist bump while I grunt out a response. I’m well aware of how much worse things could’ve been.
“Hey, Ryleigh.” Cameron grins, turning his attention to her.
“Hey, Cam.”
Cam?
I stare down at her, my eye twitching.
I know I have no claim on her. Hell, I was the one who insisted this thing between us remains platonic, but as I watch Cameron check her out, I’m finding it hard to remember why that was a good idea.
I grit my teeth, trying to ignore the way they’re staring at each other as I place my hand on her lower back and guide her to the far end of the picnic table, taking the seat directly beside her before Cameron can.
“Hope you don’t mind, but we invited a few more people that said they’d stop by later.”
I peer across the table at Trent before turning an accusatory look on Cameron. “I thought you said it was just gonna be us?”
Cameron shrugs. “You know how people talk. We asked a few of the guys and the next thing you know everyone’s coming.”
“Damn it.” I told Ryleigh tonight would be low-key and nothing like Kip’s party. Not that she minded Kip’s party. Shehad a blast. I, on the other hand, would like to avoid any sort of drama tonight. “Hannah’s not coming, is she?”
