Page 136 of Things I Wish I Said
My heart kicks painfully in my chest. “I’m not sure I’m the person to do that, to change her mind.”
I’ve already offered her money.
I’ve already offered her me.
I have nothing left to give.
We haven’t talked about labels for our relationship or the future because Ryleigh thinks she has none. I have no idea how she really feels about me. Jill says she loves me, but I’m not so sure.
Regardless, it’s a lot to ask—too much.
The pressure in my chest slides to my shoulders as I think of us in LA. There will be dinners and meet-and-greets, sightseeing, and the ceremony.
I’ll have more uninterrupted alone time with her in the week we’re gone than I’ve had in the weeks since taking on this wish.
“Okay, I’ll try,” I say, but I don’t do it for her, or even for Ryleigh.
Because I want to change her mind for me.
Chapter thirty-two
GRAYSON
A soprano tone fillsthe cabin at the same time the seat belt light clicks off.
Sliding my bookbag out from under the seat in front of me, I pull out the worn paperback.
"You're seriously still reading that thing?" Ry asks.
"I'm almost at the end. Only a couple of chapters to go." I smirk, proud of myself.
Beside me, Ryleigh takes a sip of her mimosa, a devilish grin spreading her lips. “Well, you can read, but I think I'll enjoy the inflight entertainment." She reclines her seat as if to prove her point, then sighs. "Paying extra for first class was totally worth it.”
“No. You should’ve saved your money instead of wasting it on a flight.”
“This mimosa says otherwise.”
I snort, amused with how proud she is of herself. With a wide-brimmed, floppy hat, sunglasses hooked to the tank she’s wearing, and a purse strapped around her chest, she looks likethe perfect tourist, and even though I’m nervous for this trip and what might come out of it, part of me is excited to explore LA with her, too. “At the very least, you should’ve let me pay for my own,” I say.
“No way. This is my trip.” She points to herself. “You’re just an accomplice.”
“I’m just your accomplice, huh? That’s all I am to you?” One corner of my mouth curves into a grin, but underneath my teasing tone, I’m serious. I’ve made it clear I want Ryleigh despite her being sick, but I’d be lying if a part of me didn’t wonder whether she wants me because she’s sick. A commitment isn’t much of a commitment when you don’t have much time.
And the part of me that’s falling for her is scared to death of her giving up.
Ryleigh rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. But, if you must know, there’s no one else I’d rather share this with.” Her gaze softens, and her throat bobs. “I’m really glad it’s you, Grayson.”
“Me too.” I try for a smile, but it falls flat.
All I can seem to think about is the promise I made her mother, the one I made to myself.
“Besides, it’s not like I can take the money with me,” she adds.
I swallow, her comment pricking beneath my skin like a thorn.
I lean my seat back and try to relax while Ryleigh drones on excitedly about the itinerary for the next five days, but living in the moment is hard when it feels like an elephant’s sitting onyour chest. All I can think about is how I can possibly manage to get her to change her mind about treatment, and what it means if she doesn’t. There’s so much more riding on this trip than celebrating Ryleigh’s achievements in soccer and bringing her closure.
Her mother’s counting on me. I’m counting on me. Hell, Ryleigh’s counting on me, even if she doesn’t know it.
