Page 146 of Lana Pecherczyk
“I was selfish, trying to uncover his secret affair with the enemy. I orchestrated the dare, something so stupid and reckless that I assumed he would buckle and confess. But he didn’t. I almost drowned, but he saved me. And instead of getting angry, he still held up his end of the dare. We rescued Ash that day, but that fucking cryptex—” He gestured at the empty space in the frame on the wall. “That never would have been lost if I had never made that dare in the first place. Rory would have kept her—” he gasped, face contorting with pain, unable to speak the words.
Blake touched his tear-stained face. “But then Ash wouldn’t be here, right?”
“I still can’t shake the responsibility that this is my fault. Cloud was happier than I’d ever seen him, and I couldn’t celebrate that. Why couldn’t I have just been happy for him? I should have supported him. Maybe if I had, he would have confided in me sooner. Maybe I could have stopped him from making the worst mistake of his life. He went alone, and even then I assumed he’d eloped.” River’s shoulders trembled as he recounted nursing Cloud to health after he plummeted from the sky, a broken crow. “He didn’t speak for so long. Wouldn’t even shift from his avian form. That’s what she did to him.” A sob tore from his throat. “She cracked open his heart and watched it bleed. Sure, it didn’t start like that. But that’s how it ended. Because of me. Nero sank his hooks into her, changed her, and she let him. She twisted everything, yet Cloud couldn’t kill her in the end. His obsession, whether it was hate or love, ruined everything. Look around. This shit just proves they’re two sidesof the same cursed coin.” He jerked back, his storm-dark eyes locking with Blake’s. “I can’t end up like that. I can’t.”
“You won’t,” she whispered.
“You don’t understand.” His voice roughened. “I tried to warn you last night. We’re not like the other fae races. Crows hold ontoeverything. I’m already following in his footsteps, have been my whole life. But I can’t follow him there. Not there.”
“Where?” Blake struggled to understand.
He scrubbed his face, trying to wipe away tears that leaked through his defenses. “Do you know why I was so furious when I first met you? Your very existence ruins my revenge. He hurt me, so I want to hurt him back. But it’s more than that now. If putting him out of his misery also saves everyone else…”
“River—”
“There is no good answer.” His manic eyes darted to and fro, seeing only his thoughts. “No matter how you look at it, there is only death. We can’t go back in time. Only forward. He’s a dead crow flying.”
She gripped his shoulders until her fingers ached. “Don’t think that way.”
“Promise me, if you die first, take me with you.”
“River, stop it. No one is dying.”
“Everyone is dying.”
“I’m not dead. You’re not dead.”
“Crows aren’t supposed to fly alone.”
“I’m here.”
His expression darkened with creeping anger. “You could leave me. You could change your mind, but I won’t let you. I told you last night, but you didn’t get it. Can’t you see it around us? This is your future. There is no escape.”
“We’re not like them,” she insisted. “We won’t end up like them.”
“How can you be sure? You’ve known me a week.”
She thrust her hand between their faces, the one covered in blue glittering marks. “Did they have this?”
One heartbeat of silence. Two.
“No,” he whispered.
“Well, there you go. They’re not us.”
“A blessing wouldn’t have changed anything for him.” Bitterness edged his words. “She still tortured him. Still forgot everything he was to her while his obsession grew deeper. She used his love to turn him into a monster.”
He rambled, half to himself and half to her. He shook her shoulders, speared fingers through his hair, and plucked at his feathers.
It pierced her heart that she couldn’t heal his wounds or bring him comfort.
He was wrong. Love wasn’t madness. It was only that without trust, without communication. She knew that in the deepest parts of her soul. If only he could see that, too.
“River.” She lifted his face until his red-rimmed eyes met hers. “I love you.”
“What?”
“I know we haven’t known each other for long, but with this”—she glanced at the mating marks—“I feel like we have.”
