Page 2 of Devil May Hunt
There was another relationship he’d fucked up. He’d clung to petty grudges against them for the way they made him feel, uncaring if he screwed himself over in the process. So long as he could make them unhappy? It’d been worth it.
Until he’d passed puberty and he’d realized no, it hadn’t been.
Now they barely spoke, and when they did, it was over uncomfortable family dinners at fancy, open restaurants meant to help bolster their social standing. If they looked like the perfect little family on the outside, no one would bat an eye over the fact the only heir to Cree Cosmetics had waived his rights to it and opted to enroll in the Academy instead.
“Are you even worried about me?” How pathetic could a person get? Brennon held up a hand and shook his head. “Don’t answer that. I don’t need to hear it out loud.”
His best friend remained silent next to him, and he took the opportunity to look him over through blurred vision.
Rin had sandy blond hair with streaks of gold and mismatched eyes. His left was a soothing pastel green, the right a calm pastel blue. He’d never shown any romantic interest in Brennon whatsoever and, truthfully, Brennon hadn’t thought of him that way in the beginning either.
Things had been patchy since Rin had chosen to be with Kelevra. The Imperial Prince ignored Brennon, for the most part, tolerating him only to appease Rin.
Not that Brennon deserved that, he knew he didn’t. He’d let things get so messy when he’d first been rejected. Had overstepped his bounds. It still sucked, and their friendship would never be the same, but he and Rin had been trying to put the past behind them for the sake of the group.
The group dynamics, not him.
It wasn’t that Rin couldn’t bear to lose him as a friend, it was that it would be too awkward going the next two years attending the same school, having to avoid one another.
He hadn’t said as much out loud.
But Brennon knew.
“It’s far past time you moved on,” Rin stated, and there was no caring in his tone.
“I know.” It wasn’t that simple though. “It’s not like I haven’t tried.”
“Try harder.”
“Notice how I arrived with the rest of you at the same time, and yet I’m the only one here alone,” he replied, tossing an arm out around him.
He almost fell again, but caught himself on the counter.
Even now, he couldn’t properly articulate the way he was feeling. Couldn’t find the words to explain to Rin that he’d beenfoolish and wrong. That he’d never been romantically attracted to him. That he’d just been scared of being left behind.
Rin probably wouldn’t even believe him.
It sounded like an excuse even to Brennon’s ears.
“Drowning sucks.” It was there though, all around him, that feeling of being dragged under, the heavy weight of water holding him at all sides, his lungs burning from lack of oxygen. Any second now, and he’d scream, he’d scream and he’d let all that water in and—
“That’s more my brother’s thing,” Rin said, voice bursting through the sound of crashing waves that threatened to block the rest of the noises of the crowded club out.
“Sila?” Brennon shook his head. “No, no. He swims. He’s great at it. He’d never drown. A guy like that? A guy who always has his shit together, who never has to worry or doubt? He could never.”
Rin tilted his head. “Doubt what?”
“Himself.”
He snorted. “You are right. Sila Varun would never doubt himself.”
“Exactly.” Brennon snapped his fingers. “He doesn’t know what it’s like to drown. On land. In front of everybody.” His gaze swept out across the packed dance floor. No one looked back.
No one ever did.
He scoffed. “Pity party.”
“What is it like?” Rin asked. “Are you drowning right now?”
