Page 32 of Just Like You
“I’m broken, in a lot of ways. I’ve just learned to cope with that.”
I liked that he could talk about it. Admit to his shortcomings where maybe I never had.
“I’m still grieving losing Mum,” I said, hoping I wasn’t just hijacking this conversation like a twat. “It’s something I don’t think I’ll ever get over. You won’t either.”
“This is not how I planned this afternoon to go.” He tried to wipe his face with his sleeve, instead missing and almost knocking himself out. He was frazzled, and…I kind of liked it. I liked it when he dropped the act. The arsehole. I liked the arsehole, in a fucked-up way, but I liked crying Kieron better. I wondered what the hell was going on, but he just smiled and picked up a napkin off the table. Blew his nose.
“You’re okay,” I tried, weakly. Goddamn it. What wasI doing here?
“And now I’m sat here with the guy I am desperate to impress, spilling all my shit over things that I should have been able to deal with.”
“You are dealing,” I said, reaching out and grabbing his hand.
“Badly.” He tried to smile but instead dragged me over, making me step over the table and lose my towel. It ended with me naked, landing in his arms on the deckchair that creaked alarmingly under both our weights.
“You’re doing fine,” I insisted, trying to grab the towel off the floor and not fall off the chair. Him underneath me, my dick half trapped as he helped me cover up my arse. Then he wrapped me up, the way he did. I was starting to learn how he worked. How I fit against his chest. How he fit against mine. Where his lips would start on my forehead. My temples. Cheek. Jaw. Mouth. Kisses. He was such a good kisser. I wasn’t mad at it. None of it was offensive, in any way. I liked it.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “I didn’t mean to spill that on you. I’m not as messed up as I seem, but things sometimes get too much.”
“And then they spill over. It’s fine. I once burst into tears at a diamond card holder shouting at me because his wife had the same name as my mum. Stood there blubbering all over him as he shouted at me.”
“I hate him.”
“No you don’t. You can’t protect me from the world. Nor can I stop things making you sad.”
“What are we like?” he muttered into my hair.
“I think…” I admitted. I hated that I did. “That maybe we’re quite alike.”
“Yes.” He tipped my chin up. Kissed my lips. “Told you. We’re perfect. I just needed to show you how good we could be.”
I thought I was starting to believe him. And that was the most frightening thing of all.
Sonny, it’s three in the afternoon here. The arsehole turned up, and I’m having the best time. Surprising but true. Got me room service and all. Feeling like a princess. Won’t last, so I’m just enjoying it while I can. No swapping onto dodgy trips and shagging hotel staff. We know how that ended last time. Yeah. I remember. You should too. Love you. J x
Chapter Ten
Kieron
Itook him for dinner, and we sat at a table with our feet in the sand, drinking rosé and talking nonsense. Discussing series we’d watched on Netflix and foods we liked to cook. A comfortable existence where I suddenly didn’t feel so wound up.
Because I’d spent the past twenty-four hours being so wound up that I’d knotted myself into someone I no longer recognised. I was exhausted, and not only from travelling and not having spent the nightin a proper bed.
I wanted this. I wanted this to be perfect, and I wanted him to feel what I felt.
Which made me, once again, the arsehole, because I wasn’t completely delusional. I was just allergic to this thing called reality and liked to live my life by certain rules, ones I made up for myself.
I was losing the plot here, trying to hold a conversation when I could barely hold my eyes open.
“You can go to bed, you know,” he said softly, nudging my leg with his foot under the table.
“But then I’d miss out on all of this.” I said back, trying to sound charming, but instead I thought I might have slurred. The rosé was exceptional. The surroundings stunning, the sound of the waves and the scent of the sea, my now bare feet on the sand. And him. Sat there with a little smile on his face. His normally coiffed hair now a blustery mess, his cheeks sporting a blush from the earlier sun. And those lips on him? I wanted to kiss them.
Who was I kidding? I needed to go to bed and have him wrapped around me, and then I might be able to sleep and figure out how to function again. Not sit here and drool and have no idea what I wanted to eat.
“I’d go with the Malay curry. Nice and warming,” he said, gesturing at the menu that I was attempting to read. I’d brought my glasses on this trip, but of course I’d forgotten to put them in my shirt pocket. Like a plonker.
“Old age,” came out of my mouth. “I need reading glasses, butI forgot them.”
