Page 61 of Just Like You
“I’m too tired to be romantic.”
“Go shower.” I laughed and patted him on his chest. Warm. Soft. He smelled awful, but I didn’t care. I got up on my tiptoes and pulled him in, my hand around the back of his neck as I got his lips against mine. My. My man. The guy… Gosh. What was I like?
And now he was ripping my clothes off, and whatever had happened to us? Well. It was now a case of getting naked as he walked me backwards into the bathroom, where I was still wearing one sock and he was trying to get out of his boxers, and there I was getting the water running, a little too cool, but he was pressing me against the tiles, his cock thick and hard against my stomach.
Oh fuck. Here we went again.
Was I complaining?
Nah.
“I didn’t expect this, so I have no supplies,” he whispered in my ear, the water seemingly drowning everything else out as he turned me around and slammed my front against the wall. My cheek against the cool tile as his mouth sucked into my neck. Deep kisses. I’d be bruised, no doubt, but I honestly didn’t care.
“I’ve…”
“I thought you would. Always prepared.”
“I’ve not been with anyone else,” I said sternly. “Not since I met you.”
“Thank you,” he whispered. His body suddenly quiet, just stood there under the falling water, his front pressed to my back. His arms snaked around my front, holding me tight. “I don’t want to share you. I’m really worried that’s something you maybe…don’t want.”
“Ki,” I said sternly, turning around. How had we gone from almost fucking, to this? Where he looked like he was about to cry, and I couldn’t bear it. Not him. Not like this. “Listen.” My mouth felt dry, but I was being honest here, telling it exactly like it was. I had no shame anymore because I think I’d left that at home by my kitchen table, after spilling my heart out to Gina DeSanto. Fuck my life. All of it. “I don’t want a boyfriend. I don’t want a relationship. I’ve been burnt, so many times before, and when it ends? It hurts. When all the truths come flying out, it’s not fun. Ican’t bear it. I couldn’t deal with it last time, and I can’t deal with it now. I’m scared. I’m fucking scared, Kieron, because this is not what I want.”
“Okay.” He was looking straight at me. Those big dark eyes of his pinned on mine. They should have rattled me, but they didn’t. Because Gina was right. When he looked at me, he went all soft. And me, I was no longer skin and bone. I was just bloody jelly, and I couldn’t even function.
Brain offline.
Well, I got it switched back on, faster than light. I’d better, before I said something that he’d take the wrong way.
“This, Ki, what we have here? This bloody works. And I have no idea what I’m doing, and I can’t mind-read, I don’t know what you expect here, but fucking hell, Ki. Can we just do this? Can we try? Can you…just be with me and try not to get bored, when I’m never home, and my flying schedule rules my life and I can’t just change it at the drop of a hat. I’ll miss your birthday, and Christmas, and I won’t be at home when you need me to be. It’s just the way my life is. I can’t change it. This is my reality, my work, what’s in my blood. Take me away from this and stick me in an office Monday to Friday…”
He silenced me with a kiss. One I desperately needed.
“If you got put in an office? You wouldn’t be you. Because you’re Julian, and you’re just this free-spirited, happy guy, and I… listen, I want this as much as you do, and I don’t care, I love that you have this weird and wacky job, and that you just…you just move. Constantly, from one place to the other, and you let me… If I can be part of that?”
“A bit like your mother?” I didn’t know why I asked, but maybe he was. Maybe I was?
“My mum was a bohemian stoner with issues. I know that now. Maybe I didn’t understand that when I was younger, but I do now. I know where I came from, and you’re nothing like my mum. You’re… just Julian. And I love that you are, because…I think…you’re exactly what I’ve always wanted. Someone, just like you. Someone who’s just…”
“Just what?”
He smiled, and then he kissed me again. Soft and deep, just the way I needed it. Smoothed his hands down my arms.
“I’m cold,” he said quietly.
“You were saying?” I teased. He wasn’t getting away with this. Straight talk. So I switched off the water and grabbed a towel from the rack. Wrapped it around his shoulders and then let him wrap it around me. A bit around me because the towel was small, and I was shivering too.
“I’ve always wanted someone who would hug me back. Gina never did because she’s not tactile. Not at all. You’d never know, but I’ve learnt to live with that. My boss hugs me. She touches my hands and… But it’s not… You hug me because you want to. You hold my hand, and you… If I snuggle into you? You…”
“You can always hug me. Touch me. I want you to. You have no idea how much I like it when you touch me.”
“Good,” he said, like he was tasting the word. Wanting to say so much more, but he was holding back. I was too because my words were failing me and tiredness was washing over me.
“It’s funny when I’m overtired. I suddenly feel really awake and my heart is beating too fast, like I’ve had a massive espresso and shot up vodkas all night. I just need a few hours’ sleep.”
“Me too. I don’t know how you do this all the time. Honestly.”
“I do it because I love it. I love meeting new people and dealing with problems and working with different crews every day and waking up in a new city. But then I don’t love being tired and having to constantly work through the night and feel crappy when I wake up because I’m hungry and dehydrated, and then I’m ratty and irritable…”
