Page 17 of The House Guest
“Coming right up.”
While I prepared his tea and another for myself, I could sense his eyes on me. Especially after tonight’s scare, it comforted me to know I was no longer alone in the house at night. Benjamin was always right next door, but after he and Patsy left for the day, it had just been me.
I slid a mug across the table to Dorian. “What’s been going on that you’d need whiskey at four in the morning? Besides me freaking out over the fire alarm, of course.”
He sighed. “I guess what’s been going on…is the realization that this stay is really not temporary. That I might never be able to go back to my life in Boston. And that my feet may never be big enough to fill my father’s shoes.”
“Maybe you don’t need to fill them. No one should be expected to step into someone else’s life and be perfect at it. All you can do is your best. Find your own way. And if that’s not good enough, then fuck everyone.”
His mouth curved into a smile.
“What?” I asked.
“My mother used to say that. Well, a little more eloquently than ‘fuck everyone.’ She used to say, ‘All you can do is your best. And if you’ve done your best, you should be happy with any outcome.’” He grinned. “I kind of like ‘fuck everyone’ better though.”
“Your mother was a wise woman.”
“Sitting here in this spot reminds me of her. So it’s weird that you said that on top of it. It’s like she’s coming through or something.”
“Maybe she is, for all we know.”
He steeped his tea as he looked down. “I used to get up in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep and find her sitting alone here in the kitchen. Instead of telling me to go back to bed, she’d pour me some milk and we’d talk—right here in this same spot where you and I are now. It would calm me down, and I’d fall asleep easily after that.”
A warm feeling came over me as my eyes began to water. “Mothers are the best.”
He ran his thumb along the mug. “What happened toyour mom?”
“Cancer. She was only sick for a short time.”
He nodded. “My mother too.”
“Yeah. Benjamin had mentioned that.”
“Well, she struggled with it for a while. So it wasn’t short. But it was cancer.”
“That must’ve been so hard for both you and your dad.”
Dorian looked away. “He loved her, but he didn’t know how to be faithful. That’s something I never forgave him for.”
My stomach sank. This was the first I’d heard of Remington being a cheater. I wondered if Christina knew he’d cheated on his first wife. Had he been loyal to my aunt? I took a sip. “Why do men cheat?”
“I’ve been asking myself that question for years. But I think ultimately, it’s ego—a feeling that you’re somehow entitled to a certain amount of gratification, even if it hurts others.”
I hesitated. “Have you ever cheated on anyone?”
He shook his head. “Can’t cheat if you’re not in relationships.”
“You’ve never had a girlfriend?”
“Not since high school. And I didn’t cheat back then, no. I was a nerd in those days. Lucky to even have a girlfriend, let alone play the field. Not sure I would’ve known how to be a player.”
“I can’t picture you as a nerd.”
“I didn’t grow into myself until my late teens.”
“What about now? Are you a player?”
“I’m not interested in monogamy, if that’s what you’re asking.”
