Page 39 of The House Guest
My nipples stiffened.
“I was having a little too much fun with that game,” he added. “And the last thing I wanted to do was continue to take advantage of the situation. We’d both been drinking that night.”
“Nice try. But we weren’t drunk. Just buzzed. I knew what I was doing.”
“Me, too. But any amount of alcohol messes with your inhibitions.”
He had a point, but unfortunately, I hadn’t been anywhere near under the influence enough to forget my humiliation.
“There’s so much more to why I didn’t take you up on your offer, Primrose.” He exhaled. “I don’t know if I’ve properly articulated just how hard it was for me to come back to California. It took me a month to leave Bostonand face everything. I’d imagined that coming back to this empty place and getting thrown headfirst into my father’s unfinished business was going to be the most horrible experience of my life. But then there was you, an unexpected light in this miserable darkness. Someone who not only had also just been through losing someone, but who seemed to make me smile at every turn.”
I listened quietly, unable to come up with anything to say.
“No one has captivated me like you have. Every time I talk to you, it’s the highlight of my day. I look forward to the moments we run into each other.”
Desperate to get the formal rejection over with, I interrupted. “Fine. So you want to be friends. You like me, but you’re not attracted to me in a physical way. No need to say more. I said it before you had to. I get it. Really. You don’t need to explain any—”
“That could not be further from the truth. I think you’re stunning.” His eyes seared into mine. “But you said yourself that you’re a serial monogamist. And I’m not relationship material—at least at this point in my life. Given that we live together, becoming anything more than friends would make our lives very complicated. I know you’re not the type to just fuck and forget about it. Nor do you deserve that. I want you to have everything you truly desire. I’m just not the right person to give it to you.”
What he said made a lot of sense.
After a moment, I nodded. “I’m sorry I put you in a position to have to reject me.”
“It wasn’t rejection. It was restraint.” He looked into my eyes. “What about my licking your body madeyou think I wasn’t interested? Ididwant to go to your room. More than anything I’d wanted in a long time. For once in my life, though, I’m trying to do the responsible thing when it comes to a woman I’ve grown to care about.” He leaned toward me. “Make no mistake, Idocare about you, Primrose, even though we haven’t known each other that long.”
I sighed. Maybe this whole thing was for the best. I didn’t want to lose him, either. There was no one else on Earth who understood the loss we’d both endured. I needed to grow up about this and be happyoneof us was being mature.
“I can respect that. And I’ll try not to take it personally.”
“Can you? Because you constantly checking to make sure I’m not home sucks. I feel like if I hadn’t come home early tonight, I might not have seen you for another week.”
“If you’re barely home, how could you be so sure I was avoiding you?”
“There are cameras all over the house. Do you know how many times they’ve alerted me that someone was in the garage? And then I’d check it to find you peeking at the bay where I park.”
“Shit.” I closed my eyes briefly and had to laugh at myself. “I’m sorry if I’ve made things uncomfortable.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way unless we make it so.”
“I don’t want to avoid you anymore,” I muttered.
“Good, because I miss running into you.”
“AndImiss my tea in the kitchen.”
“Ouch.” He laughed. “You’ve been avoiding the kitchen because of me?”
“Somewhat.I’m excited to make my triumphant return.” I sighed. “I’m glad you found me in here tonight. The hiding did need to end.”
“Were you looking for another hiding place or going through your aunt’s things?”
“Finally garnered the courage to look through her stuff. I decided I’m just gonna donate it all.”
“There’snothingyou want to keep?”
“I don’t need any of it.”
“I think you should keep at least one thing. You might regret it if you don’t.”
