Page 59 of The House Guest
We hadn’t defined our relationship, yet it felt like we’d evolved from lovers to partners—a true couple, doing coupley things. Case in point, Chandler and Candace were coming over to have dinner with us tonight. We’d been gearing up for the perfect evening with friends.
So then why the rapid heartbeat this morning?
Why the feeling of absolute dread?
Sadly, deep down, I knewexactlywhat it was: everything was goingsowell that I now worried I had to break up with him. This was my MO, a self-protective mechanism that had ruined every relationship I’d ever been in. But the stakes were higher this time because I wasn’t just in a relationship with Dorian. I had fallen in love.
I started to shake, praying Dorian didn’t wake up and find me freaking out. But soon enough, he turned over and noticed me trembling.
He sat up. “What’s wrong, baby?”
“I’m having a bit of a…panic attack.”
“What brought it on?”
I stuttered, “I, um…”
How do you tell someone you have the urge to break up with him because things are going so well that there’s nowhere to go but down?
“I…”
I couldn’t do it.
“What is it, Primrose?” he asked, worry in his eyes.
I finally let the words out. “I think I’m about to break up with you.”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re scared,” he finally said.
“Very…”
“Because there’s a lot to lose here, isn’t there?”
My breath shook as I exhaled. “I feel like I should be moving out and ending this before it’s too late. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Dorian. So the urge to end it is worse than usual.”
He placed his hand behind my head and stared into my eyes. “You can’t break up with me.”
“Why?” I whispered.
“Because I love you.”
The world stopped spinning for a moment. Hope filled me. “You do?”
“I do.” He nodded. “I love you so much. And I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not my girlfriend.”
Girlfriend.
Love.
My heart had gone from breaking to aching—in a good way. “You’ve never called me your girlfriend before.”
“Did you need a definition? Can’t youfeelit? Can’t you feel how crazy about you I am?”
I smiled. “I can.”
“Believe what I’m showing you, not just what I’m telling you. You’re more than a girlfriend to me. You’re the reason I want to get up every morning. Before you came along, I wished I could sleep all day. You’re the reason for every smile. Every laugh. Every good thing in my life. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I want to see before I drift off at night.” He leaned in and spoke over my lips. “You’re the love of my life, Primrose.” Dorian kissed my forehead gently. “I know how distrusting you are of men because of your dad. I know I have to work a hundred times harder to prove you’re safe with me. I am totally up for the challenge. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you understand that I’m not going anywhere. And neither are you—I think. Because you love me, too, don’t you?”
Jesus. Did I not say it back?
