Page 58 of Broken Harmony
“I have conditions,” I say.
“Okay, let's hear them.”
“He does what's best for the band. Not just me. The band as a whole. I’m slowing down on the acting, only taking jobs that interest me. I’m open to modeling, but again, only things that interest me. Dancing is for our own songs, nothing else. I will not be a backup dancer for bigger artists anymore,” I spit, hating the fact that Julia pimped me out more than I realized.
“Deal.” Chase nods.
“Then fine. I agree to give Nate a chance. But if it’s not working, we have the right to fire him.”
“Of course.”
I turn to the guys. “What do you think?”
They look at one another before turning back to me. “We want whatever you're comfortable with. But I’d like to meet the guy first if that's okay,” Skyler says.
“Same,” I tell my uncle.
“That I can do. Anything else?” The guys shake their heads.
“Can I talk to you? Outside. Alone?” I ask.
Chase’s brows furrow, but he nods.
We head outside, and the moment I step out of the bus, I can feel Liam’s eyes on me. He doesn’t come close, standing a bit away, talking to another guard.
“How are you doing?” Chase asks. “With so much happening so fast, I’m worried for you.”
“I’ll be okay.” I give him a smile. “Or I will be.” I don’t tell him how I’ve thought about quitting a million times over the past few days. Or how there were moments I wished I weren’t alive. That’s when I knew I really needed to get some help. I’m not ready to let them in on the details just yet. I want to do this myself.
“I really am sorry,” his voice breaks. “If I knew–”
“I know,” I cut him off. “I know. No one knew. She made sure of it. Please, don’t beat yourself up over this. There's nothing you could have done.”
“Still, I’m your uncle.”
“Then you can make it up to me by making sure from here on out, we do the right thing. Hire the right people. And I get full control over everything. I don’t want anyone in charge of me. If I say no, it’s a no. If I want something, I get it, within reason of course. Otherwise, I don’t want this job anymore. I love singing more than anything else in this world, but over the past few years, I feel like it’s become more of a requirement with too many strings attached rather than my soul's fire. I want that drive back. That thrill. The passion. If I don’t have that, then I don’t see the point.”
He nods. “That’s understandable.”
“And I want a new personal guard.”
Chase’s eyes widen. “Did Liam do something to hurt you?” My heart. Yes.
“No.” I shake my head. “It’s complicated. But right now, I can’t be around him so closely.”
Understanding dawns on him. “You love him, don’t you?”
I bite my lip, trying not to cry as I look away.
“Hey.” Chase pulls me in for a hug. “I’m not sure what’s going on between the two of you, but anyone with eyes could see the connection you two have. For whatever reasons, you guys won’t take that step, and it’s none of my business. But if you want someone else, we can fire him and find someone new.”
“No.” I shake my head. “I don’t want you to fire him. Just someone to do his job until I can be around him without wanting to break down into tears,” I laugh awkwardly. “He can still be on the team.” Glancing over Chase’s shoulder, I see Liam watching.His brows are furrowed. I know he can’t hear us, but I think he can sense that something isn’t right.
He’s not going to like this. And honestly, I don’t either. I don’t like the idea of someone else being so close to me, like the job entails. But I know I can’t keep going like this and have a clear head when he’s so close to me. Just out of reach. His scent drives me crazy, his presence makes me weak. No. I need some distance, but I can’t stand the idea of losing him for good.
Maybe with some time, it will be different, but this is the best decision I could come up with without breaking down completely.
***
