Page 61 of Broken Harmony
Things between Liam and me are in this odd place.
After a few months of having another guard as my personal bodyguard, I decided I needed Liam back.
It was stupid of me to think time would help me heal or help me get over him, because this is me we’re talking about. It’s been what, years, and I’m still unhealthily obsessed with Lulu. What makes me think I’d get over Liam when I see him every day?
Ever since my first heat, the past three fucking years have been backhanded flirting, very obvious jealousy on both ends, and sexual tension you can drown in.
Still, nothing has been done about it.
He hasn’t tried to go looking for his one and only, and I’ve been too busy with work to care about starting a pack.
The guys have been talking about maybe looking for an Omega of their own, but they want to wait a few more years before taking that step.
Nate... he’s been the addition to our little fucked up shit show of a family that I didn’t know we needed.
He’s hands down amazing at his job. Everything we do is agreed upon as a team beforehand. If we’re not all on board, it doesn’t happen.
He’s been doing more and more solo stuff for me, booking me auditions and ad campaigns as I allow myself to branch outagain. It’s the same way things are handled with the band. If I don’t agree, it doesn’t happen.
Thankfully, while there’s this attraction between us, other than the playful banter, nothing has been pushed. So, while I do like the guy, and he sure is pretty on the eyes, I’m not head over heels in love with him.
I take that as a win, right?
Not really, when I still have a stupid crush on the guy. It’s just a little one. Nothing to worry about. Kind of like the one I had on him as a kid. Only this time, I know not to think anything more of it.
Still, why couldn’t I just be fully gay, so that way, I’m not tempted to fall for every man who comes into my life?
Although I’d say I’m doing great with the whole being friends only with the guys thing. Even though we live so closely together and our lives are crazy intertwined, we haven’t crossed that line. And I know with everything in me, we never will.
“Alright, big guy,” I sigh dramatically, flopping down on the couch. “Carry me home.”
“Really?” Liam grumbles, walking over to me. “You had to make this harder than it needs to be.”
I move my hand that’s draped over my face and peek up at him. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
He tries to hide his smile, but I see it. “Come on,” he mutters, leaning down to scoop me up into his arms. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“Oh, my!” I gasp, placing my hand over my heart. “Why, sir, I’m not that kind of lady.”
He snorts, shaking his head. “Enough.”
“Never.” I grin.
Yeah, like I said, things between Liam and me are weird as hell. But I sort of love it.
We’ve gone from this push and pull of will-they-won’t-they to being best friends. Not like the friendship I have with the guys, but something more intense. It’s like we’re together but have none of the benefits. We don’t kiss, we don’t fuck, nothing like that.
But sometimes, there are cuddles. And god, I live for those times.
The way we are around one another makes me feel safe. Happy. My therapist hates it, says it’s a very unhealthy way of coping, and I should put up boundaries, but I like to remind her I’m already fucked up enough, we should work on one thing at a time. Can’t the woman just let me have something nice?
Ugh.
I’m a lot more exhausted than I thought I was, because by the time we get to the bus, I’m pretty much passed out in Liam’s arms.
I’m still kinda awake as he places me on the bed and helps strip me down to my underwear. I should let him know I’m awake and do this myself, but I don’t.
Sometimes, I need this. The care of an Alpha. I’m a twenty-four-year-old Omega who hardly ever gets the care of an Alpha that I so desperately crave.
