Page 23 of Killer Confections
In my peripheral, I catch when the vehicle slows as it nears me. My gaze is drawn to it, shifting from the pavement. It’s a quick meeting, but piercing blue eyes stare back at me,illuminated by the bike’s lights before he passes.
I nearly drop my phone as my heart thunders. I know it isn’t possible. The chances are slim of the mystery guy being my old friend, but I can’t help but imagine.
After all these years, I still think of Atlas.
He’s never left my mind. No matter what I did or where I went, it was always like something was missing. It’s silly to still harbor the childhood crush I’ve held onto for so long, but being with Atlas was the last time I really felt…alive.
I tried to look him up over the years, searching him on the internet or going through the endless social media apps hoping to stumble across a profile. The same thoughts would plague my mind, making unease churn in my gut.
Is he married now?
Does he have kids?
Where is he?
Does he still live in Columbus?
I still haven’t told Addison that the whole reason I chose Columbus to set up my first shop was because of the lingering thought he may still lurk around this city. She’s heard everything about the boy from my childhood, from the long hours spent in study hall to the first kiss we shared on my parent’s back porch.
He’s the whole reason I stopped drinking. Anytime I would have a little too much wine, I would end up sobbing over what could have been for us. The next morning, I would regret my actions as I observed my puffy eyes in my bathroom mirror and nursed the pounding headache I had acquired.
I never stopped looking for him. Even on my solo trip to Europe after graduating college, I would sit on the balcony of my hotel late at night, wishing he were beside me.
I’ve tortured myself for years and nearly driven myself crazy over the idea of a future we would never have.
You’re mine, okay? No matter what happens, you belong to me and I’ll be back for you.
I still remember that promise. Atlas’s declaration to beback for me never stuck, and I think I internalized it. It was a decree said in the heat of the moment and nothing more. We were just kids.
It pains me to let it go, but I promised myself that once I opened my first store, I would move past the boy who I consider my first love. It’s a lot like grieving in a sense. I have to mourn the loss of someone I was close to and will never see again.
But saying I’m going to let go and actually doing it are two different things.
“Are you even listening to me?” Addison yells, dragging me back to the present. I’m stopped outside of my apartment building, glad I didn’t keep walking while I was lost in thought.
“Yup,” I lie, stepping into the dimly lit lobby.
“Uh, huh. I’ll be there for the grand opening and I don’t think I’m going back home. I found a few apartments I can put a deposit down on now.” She says as I enter the code to the elevator.
“Alright, I’ll see you then.”
We say our goodbyes before I step out of the elevator and head to my unit. I stop, my eyes narrowing at the square screen next to my door. There’s a sticky note attached to it.
Enjoy the security system— Management
Mrs. Olivia put this up?
I look around the hallway, taking note that no other units seem to have the setup I do.
Maybe it’s something new she’s working on?
I frown, taking the sticky note as I read the controls. To be honest, I’m not hating the extra protection. I wanted to get another system like the one I had out in Manhattan, but have yet to worry about anything else besides my store’s grand opening.
I make a mental note to tell her thank you when I see her again before getting to work setting up my personal code. Thescreen flashes with instructions on how to secure the system before and after leaving my home, and once I have everything memorized, I unlock it and step into my dark home.
Everything I own is a staple of who I am. The bright colors and cute embroidered pillows are little things I’ve collected over the years that bring me joy. This apartment should feel like a home. I’ve filled it with everything I hold dear to me, yet nothing is fulfilling.
It’s comfortable enough and I keep trying to convince myself that once Sweet Haven is opened and I get into a routine with my staff, my home will eventually feel like a home, but I’m not hopeful.
