Page 47 of Cast in Shadow
But my situation was far from simple, wasn’t it?
Should I have told Nguyen the truth? Did he have a right to know? I honestly didn’t know.
We stared each other down like that, with him furious and hurt, and me weighing the pros and cons of telling my second-in-command something that would undoubtedly change our dynamic significantly, until a knock at the door broke the stalemate.
Nguyen turned away with a frustrated growl.
“Come,” I called.
The door inched open, and Shayla peeked her head through. “Hey.”
Gods, she sounded so small.
“Shay, sweetie.” I moved around my desk to pull her into the room and wrap her in a hug. “You should be sleeping.”
That was how I’d left her, sleeping soundly in her bed, locked safely in her room upstairs. I hadn’t wanted to leave her up there, but I’d needed to deal with Nguyen. We sure as hell weren’t having our yelling match in front of her.
She shook her head against my shoulder. “Can’t. My dreams are…” A shudder racked her small frame.
I rubbed a gentling hand up and down her back. “I am so sorry.”
“That asshole thought he could make me talk, but I didn’t tell him anything.” Her arms tightened around me. “I didn’t give you up.”
Guilt hit me so hard it stole my breath. She should have given me up to Phineas. She should have thrown me right under that damned bus to save herself, but it wasn’t like I could say that to her now. The girl had endured gods only knew what kind of torture to keep my identity safe. And for what?
I shot a glance at Nguyen. He was watching us, looking just as furious and helpless as I felt, with his hands balled into fists.
It wasn’t Shay’s job to protect me. I was supposed to protect her, and I’d failed.
It was, however, also Nguyen’s job to protect her. If Shay wasn’t willing to tell the Brethren who I really was to save herself, he should have done it for her.
Regret and anger burned inside of me. The memory I’d just made with Emerson turned sour in my stomach. I couldn’t even think clearly, let alone conjure the right words to soothe a young woman who’d just been tortured nearly to death.
I pulled her in tight and just held her for a minute.
She really did need rest. We all did. Nguyen hadn’t given me details on what Phineas had done to them because I wasn’t ready to hear it. Not yet, anyway. That was information that I would need time to process. Otherwise, I would end up doing something reckless.
“What can I do?” I finally asked.
She leaned back. “I feel like I’m tired enough to sleep, but I really don’t want to be alone. Can I try to catch a nap in here while you work? Like, on the floor or something?”
I could do better than that. Checking the clock, I saw that it was almost eleven o’clock. “How about you and I go up to my room? I’ll make some of that microwave kettle corn you love, and we’ll start a movie.”
A cautious smile softened her tired features. “Really? Do you have time for that?”
“I always have time for you, sweetie.”
Nguyen escorted us upstairs in silence, and when Shay asked if he wanted to stay and watch the movie too, I didn’t protest. If having him nearby made her feel safe enough to sleep, so be it. I would carve out my still beating heart for the girl. A littleuncomfortable silence with an angry shifter was the least I could do.
She crashed less than twenty minutes into50 First Dates, her favorite movie. She knew that thing backwards and forwards, line by line. The fact that she was already fast asleep, curled up next to me with her head in my lap, while the bowl of kettle corn went mostly untouched, spoke volumes.
“I can keep an eye on her,” Nguyen whispered from the plush gray reading chair beside the couch.
I shook my head, adjusting carefully, trying like hell not to disturb her. It would be a long night for my lower back sleeping upright on the couch, but it was a small price to pay. “We’ll be fine. Go get some rest. I have a feeling we’re going to need it.”
Not that I saw much rest or relaxation in my near future. There were too many fish still flopping around in my frying pan.
Phineas was on the loose, and I wanted to take that sonofabitch down myself. Which meant I needed to get the team started on tracking him.
