Page 50 of Cast in Shadow
“Going for a run?” she asked, stretching her arms high above her head.
“No rest for the wicked.” But for what it was worth, I actually had gotten a little rest. As had Nguyen, at least before he slipped out in the middle of the night. “How are you feeling?”
She shook her head, then nodded. “Better, but now that I’ve had a little bit to process all the shit from yesterday, I have questions.”
“Like what?” I asked, sitting in the chair Nguyen had claimed as his own the night before to put on my running shoes.
“The Brethren, for starters,” Shay said, combing her fingers through her sleep matted hair. “How did they know about me and Nguyen?”
I laced up my left shoe. “I don’t know, but I intend to find out. Did Phineas say anything to you about another member of the Brethren named Theloneus?”
The corners of her mouth tightened. “No. He only wanted to know about Lexa. And you.” Her voice shook on the confession, and when I looked a little closer, she was trembling.
I was an idiot.
She might have thought she was ready, but it was too soon to be having this conversation with her. I finished tying my other shoe quickly and stood, motioning her to me. She shuffled over in her bare feet and hot pink skull pajamas.
When her arms came around my waist, I pulled her in closer and rested my cheek on her head. “We don’t have to talk about this right now. In fact, why don’t you settle back in? I can make you a big bowl of cereal, and you can stream whatever you want until you fall back asleep.”
She nodded weakly but didn’t say anything.
“Or I can stay, if that would make you feel better,” I offered, sensing her reluctance.
“No.” She pulled back to look up at me. “I’m just feeling… a lot.”
“Which is totally normal,” I said softly.
I was years older than her the first time I’d had to endure any kind of torture outside of the ridiculousness of polite society. The experience had left me somehow emotionally overwhelmed and completely numb.
“It takes time to process everything, but I promise, it does get better.”
Her lips quirked up on one side. It wasn’t quite a smile, but it was closer to one than I’d dared to hope for. “I figured you would say something like that.” She pulled away, and I couldn’t tell if my predictable assurance was a good thing or a bad thing.
“Did it help?”
She sank back onto the sofa and looked up at me. “A little.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” I was alreadyabout three seconds away from reaching out to Emerson to reschedule our meeting.
Shay shook her head. “I’m a big kid. I’ll be fine on my own. But I’ll take you up on the cereal.”
I studied the circles under her normally bright eyes and had to bite my lip to keep from saying what I was really thinking. Instead, I headed into the kitchenette. “I have just the thing.”
After pouring her an enormous bowl of the colorful, sugary cereal I kept on hand just for her, I dropped a kiss on the top of her head and grabbed my earpiece and phone off the end table. “If anything comes up, or even if you just feel like you need someone to talk to, call me.”
Munching on a mouthful of crunchy goodness, she nodded twice and gave me an awkward thumbs up with her spoon still in her hand.
She was a long way from being okay. She might be doing a decent job of faking it, for now, but pushing her wouldn’t help. All I could do was make sure I was there when she needed me.
Emerson wasn’t waiting at the trailhead when I got to the park, which was honestly a bit of a surprise. The man was never late, and it wasn’t like he had to drive. He could just think of a place and go there. I, on the other hand, made the trip across the city with my stomach in knots and my mind spiraling.
And here I was, twenty minutes after pulling up, sitting alone inside my Jeep with the parking lot light shining down on me.
He did say he’d meet me, right? I hadn’t dreamed up that little exchange the night before?
It would have been a simple thing to just reach out and ask if he would be there, but I wasn’t ready to have him in my headagain. The more I heard him and felt him, the further I slid down a very slippery slope.
I let another few minutes pass before letting out an impatient huff. Just because he was a no-show, it didn’t mean I couldn’t still get in that run. Plus, it would keep my mind from worrying too much about the countless reasons why he hadn’t made our rendezvous.
