Page 64 of The Heartbreakers
I studied his face. “Where’d you learn all this?”
“My uncle. He’s into astronomy and that kind of stuff.”
“So you do have a family,” I said, half joking.
At this, Oliver looked away from me and rolled onto his back. “Of course I do,” he said, his tone suddenly tight. Apparently something I said had sucked the good nature right out of our conversation, something that struck a nerve and made Oliver clamp up. When the roles were reversed, he’d pushed me, so I decided to push back.
“Then why aren’t they here?”
“How do you know that they’re not?” he asked, and his voice was restrained, like he was trying to hide any emotion that might come across.
“Oliver,” I said, shooting him a pointed look. “If they were, wouldn’t you be down at the party?”
He pushed himself into a sitting position and yanked his hair back, as if it would help sort out whatever matter was currently wrecking havoc in his heard. “Look,” he said, releasing his tight grip. His bangs flopped back into place. “Can we just talk about something else?”
I sat up next to him. “Like what?”
His eyes flickered across my face, examining every inch of it. It was one of those long, intense stares that made my heart start to skip, and finally a tired smile relaxed his face. “Do you know that ‘Stella’ means ‘star’ in Latin?” he asked. Then he reached up and cupped my cheek with his hand. “There was this sixteenth-century poet, Sir Philip Sidney, who created the name for a collection of sonnets he wrote calledAstrophilandStella.”
“I know what you’re doing,” I said a little breathlessly as his thumb started to move in soothing circles just beside my ear.
“Yeah,” he said. “And what’s that?”
“Trying to distract me.”
He leaned in, slowly running his tongue over his lips. “You’re wrong,” he said, and I could feel the warmth of his breath as he spoke. “If I were trying to distract you, I’d do this.”
I knew what was going to happen, but before I could pull away, Oliver wrapped his arm around my waist and tilted his head. As soon as his mouth was on mine, I knew this wasn’t like our first kiss. That one was thrilling, filled with the excitement of exploring someone new. This one was aggressive, as if Oliver had been waiting too long for something he desperately wanted, and now he couldn’t hold back.
It didn’t take long for me to feel completely out of breath, and I pulled away panting. “Oliver, stop,” I said, but I kept my forehead pressed against his and my arms around his neck. I didn’t want to stop, but I’d made the decision not to do this with him. “We can’t do this.”
“Why?” he asked. I closed my eyes as he brushed his hand up my arm and across my collarbone. “I know you’re feeling the same thing I am. I can tell by the way you’re out of breath and the flush on your cheeks, and how you can’t even look me in the eye because you know I’m right. So, tell me again not to kiss you and I won’t, but you’d better give me a damn good reason.”
I could still feel the way Oliver’s lips had felt on mine a moment ago, how they tasted like the lemonade Mrs. Morris made, and I knew he was right. I wanted this even though I had a hard time believing he did too.
Oliver didn’t give me long to answer before his lips found mine again, kissing my mouth, my neck, my shoulder. He took control quickly, moving his body over mine and guiding me down onto my back. The rough shingles scraped against my bare shoulders, but I hardly noticed. I ran my hand over his arm and down his torso, enjoying the feeling of the tight muscle beneath his skin.
“You know, people can see you up here.”
Oliver and I both shot up at the sound of JJ’s voice and smacked our foreheads together. He was hanging out the window, a sly grin on his face.
“God, JJ!” Oliver said, scowling and rubbing the sore spot on his head. “You’re such a creep. You know that, right?”
“Creepy would be watching without saying anything,” JJ responded, and then he shook his head in disbelief. “Sex on the roof? That’s way more dangerous than dangling our feet over the edge. My mom would have a heart attack.”
“We were not going to screw on the—”
“Just remember, kids, use protection,” he said, cutting Oliver off as he waved a finger at us. He started to duck back into the room but stopped to add, “And don’t even think about moving to my bed!”
• • •
When he was gone, Oliver sighed and rolled off me. “Well,” he said. “That wasn’t awkward at all.”
“Nope,” I responded, sitting up and brushing myself off. JJ’s surprise appearance had shattered the moment, and now that I could think clearly again, I suddenly wished I was anywhere other than alone with Oliver.
I didn’t know if I was more humiliated or angry with myself. Kissing Oliver felt so freeing. Like I’d been stumbling around in the dark, and then everything was suddenly in sharp focus. I wanted so much to believe what he’d said, that he felt the same thing I did, but just as his words started to make sense to me, I remembered the girl from rehearsals and the entire situation got all blurry and out of focus again.
“We should probably head back to the party,” I said and started scooting backward toward the window.
