Page 86 of The Heartbreakers
“It was pretty lonely,” he admitted, “but my uncle only lived a town over from my grandparents, so I was allowed to stay in the same school and be with my friends. That’s why JJ, Xander, and I got so close. They became my family.”
“So then what happened?” I asked. I was glad that Oliver was telling me all of this, but I didn’t understand what it had to do with us.
“Then we signed our record deal, and everything changed,” he said. “You already know most of the story: Mongo made us change our name and our music so we would be more marketable, and we went with it because it was such a great opportunity and probably our only shot. When we made it big, we thought we could transition back into our old music, but Alec’s dad wouldn’t let us. JJ tried fighting him on it, but I—I didn’t have his back.”
“Why not?”
Oliver sighed and his shoulders slouched. “I suppose I was afraid of what would happen if we pissed off Alec’s dad. There was this image in my head of my life falling apart: Xander going off to college, Alec starting a solo career, JJ becoming an actor, and there I’d be, all alone.” He looked back up at me, and I could see the fear still reflected in his eyes. “The band—that’s all I have, Stella. They’re my family. I wasn’t going to chance losing them.”
His fear was understandable, but the reasoning? Not so much. “But isn’t that kind of what you did?” I asked. “You and JJ were fighting all the time, and then there were the rumors.”
“God, I know,” he said, hanging his head. “It’s not like I knew that was going to happen. It wasn’t my goal. I was just too scared to see that JJ was right, and thenyouhappened. I never would have played that song if it weren’t for you.”
“And?” I said, my tone sharp. I just wanted to hear the punch line. “That doesn’t explain why you did what you did, Oliver.”
He grimaced, and then his whole upper body—head, shoulders, arms, hands—went limp. “I’m not allowed to date,” he told me. I opened my mouth to say something, anything, but nothing came out. “It was one of the rules that Alec’s dad made me agree too. He thought it would make me more appealing to fans or some bullshit like that.”
My heart began to race as all the little details, the hints and glimpses I’d seen over the past weeks, finally fell into place. “That’s why you asked to keep us a secret,” I said.
He nodded. “Yeah, but our fans loved our old Infinity and Beyond song, and I thought we could finally show Alec’s dad that we didn’t need all his rules. I was wrong. When he found out you and I were together, he called me in for a meeting and told me I had to stop seeing you.”
I remembered Oliver going to Mongo’s headquarters the day of the movie premiere—he’d kissed me before he left, and the next time I saw him, everything was different. All my questions had finally been answered, but that only left me with new ones.
“Why the hell didn’t you say anything?” I exclaimed even though I knew my question was unfair. Oliver had let his fear control him, and that was something I had experience with myself. Fear made you do stupid, irrational things.
“I don’t know, Stella,” he said, tugging on the chain around his neck. “I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“I’m sorry,” I responded, surprising both of us. “I understand that you couldn’t risk your family.” If I were put in the same position, I’d make the same decision as him. Of course, I never would’ve gone about it the way he did, but that wasn’t the point.
Oliver took a hesitant step forward. “You do?” He stared at me, his face shining as he held his breath.
“Yes,” I said, nodding my head. “But just because I understandwhyyou did it doesn’t mean I forgive thehow. What you did sucked, Oliver.”
“Okay, I deserve that,” he said, a flush creeping across his cheeks. “I was terrible, but I figured if you hated me, then it would be easier for you to move on and be happy.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “You thought standing me up would make me happy?”
“When you say it like that, I sound like the world’s biggest idiot.”
“You are the world’s biggest idiot,” I said with a small smile. “Although JJ and Drew are close runners-up.” The more time I spent talking with Oliver, the more I realized that I was past being mad at him.
A tiny smile appeared on his face too. It was there for a moment, but then it slipped away. “You’re still not going to forgive me, are you?”
“I appreciate you taking the time to tell me the truth, so yes, I do forgive you,” I said carefully, and the uncertain look on his face turned into a grin. “But that doesn’t mean anything has changed between us.”
His smile wavered. “Meaning what?”
“I called Paul yesterday,” I said slowly. I didn’t know why I suddenly felt nervous about telling him this, but I could feel my pulse in the back of my throat. “I’m not coming back to work. I have enough material to keep the blog running until the end of the tour. After Cara gets better, I’m going to college and—I don’t think I can handle seeing you again.”
Neither of us spoke. Out in the hall I heard a woman’s voice, probably one of the nurses, followed by a response from what sounded liked my brother.
Oliver cleared his throat. “So this is it then.” It wasn’t a question; he understood that we were really, truly over.
“Yeah,” I said, my chin trembling. “This is it.”
He was silent for a long time before finally nodding his head. Then he leaned over the side of the bed and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Good-bye, Stella,” he said in a thick voice. “Thank you so much for allowing me to be a part of your life.”
Chapter 23
