Page 88 of The Heartbreakers
Drew’s eyebrows scrunched together. “How can you be sure?”
“Because,” I said, “I just am.”
When I found out Cara’s first transplant had failed, I’d been terrified. I knew I should be now too, because there was no guarantee that this treatment would work, but my pulse and heart were steady. Drew was right—this was Cara’s last chance. But it didn’t matter. This time things were different. I couldn’t know for sure, but I could feel it.
• • •
Three weeks later we brought Cara home from the hospital. Her platelet, red, and white blood cell counts were still low, but the second transplant had been a success.
Although she was being discharged, Dr. Mitchell explained that Cara’s recovery would take a long time. It could be months before she started to get some of her strength back and, if her cancer didn’t relapse, it could take an entire year for her full health to return. During this time, there would be a huge risk of infection and Cara would have to visit the outpatient clinic on a regular basis so her progress could be tracked.
But there wasn’t anything Dr. Mitchell could say that would ruin my high of emotions—I was hyper and ecstatic and overwhelmed all at the same time, but more than anything I was relieved. Cara’s last chance had actually worked.
A few days after her official release from the hospital, the two of us were curled up in her bed watching a movie. Since she was still exhausted from her treatment, we spent a lot of time in her room. I didn’t mind; I’d always loved the scarlet walls, lacy gold pillows, and vanity covered in mounds of jewelry, makeup, and perfume. Every inch of space reminded me of my sister.
When the credits came on, Cara switched off the TV and turned to me. “So,” she started. “There’s something I’ve been wanting to talk to you about.”
“Hmm?”
I had yet to take off my hospital bracelet, and I slipped a finger under the plastic and spun it around my wrist. I liked fiddling with it. In black type was all my patient information: my full name, doctor, date of birth, and other important information the nursing staff needed to know. There was no reason for me to still be wearing it, but I’d grown attached—maybe because it was a reminder of what Cara and I had overcome together.
“It’s about Oliver,” she said. “I know what happened between you two.”
My entire body stiffened and I let go of the wristband. “What?” I asked. “How did you find out?” It wasn’t that I was purposely keeping the breakup a secret from Cara, but I figured the less I talked about it, the easier it would be to forget.
“He told me,” she said, her tone slightly tart. “After visiting you that day in the hospital he came to talk to me. I don’t know what was more shocking: actually meeting Oliver Perry or him breaking down and telling meeverything. It was like he was still trying to apologize by admitting it all to me.”
“He didwhat?” I gasped. “Why didn’t you say something?”
Cara’s glare was glassy. “Oh, like how you gave me all the details about your breakup?”
Her comment stirred the guilt inside me with a jolt, and unable to face my sister, I tossed off the blanket and climbed out of bed. Cara was right. I should have told her about everything, from Oliver standing me up to his explanation and apology, because she shouldn’t have had to find out fromhim.
“Well, Stella?” Cara said when I didn’t respond. “No comment?”
“Okay,” I said as my cheeks started burning. “I should have filled you in on the whole thing, but between my donation and your second transplant, I figured we had enough to worry about.”
The sour look on her face dissolved as she sighed. “I get that, Stella,” she said. “I really do. You’re always looking out for me and I’m so grateful for that, but sometimes you have to let me look out for you too. That’s what sisters are supposed to do. Even if all I can be is an ear to listen, I’m here.”
“I know that,” I said, glancing down at the carpet. “Thank you, Cara.”
“Do you though?”
My head snapped back up. “Yes,” I said, looking directly at her. I couldneverforget what she’d been willing to sacrifice to give me my life back.
“Good,” she said with a crisp nod, “because this isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Ohgreat.There was a strange look on Cara’s face, like she was suddenly apprehensive about our upcoming conversation, and that made my stomach fluttery and uncomfortable. Unwittingly, I started to twist my nose stud between my fingers.
“All right,” I said. “What’s up?”
She bit her bottom lip before taking a quick breath and clearing her throat. “Do you miss him?”
Rather than answering, I focused my gaze out her bedroom window, because I didn’t want her to see how much that one question affected me. Across the street, the neighbor kids were playing on their front lawn. They were taking turns raking up the fallen autumn leaves and then jumping into a blazing pile of red, orange, and yellow.
Halloween was at the end of the month and their porch was already decorated for the holiday, a collection of pumpkins waiting to be carved, all lined up on the wooden steps. For a moment I wished I was out there with them, enjoying the last bit of nice weather before winter came.
“Stella?” Cara prompted me.
