Page 74 of My Life with the Walter Boys
“Because I was worried about you.”
I forced a laugh. “Please, you don’t need to lie.”
“Why would I lie to you?”
“Cole, stop pretending like last night andeverythingthat went down at the party didn’t happen,” I said. “I’m not in the mood for your bullshit right now.”
He sighed. “I know.”
“Good. Then you’ll understand that I want to be alone.”
“Jackie, please listen to me,” he said, ignoring my request. His voice was barely audible, almost as if he was hurting just as much as me. I gritted my teeth together and ignored him. “I came here to apologize. And to take you home.”
I remained quiet a moment longer, still thinking. Could I really call the Walters’ house home? For a few weeks, it had started to feel something like that, but after what happened at the party and with Lee, I knew it wasn’t.
“Jackie, please say something.”
“Why should I go anywhere with you?” I said in response. “The past two times I’ve done that, it’s ended terribly.”
“Okay, I know I might have hurt your feelings, but—”
“Might?” I demanded, sitting up to glare at him. His words put fuel in my system, like someone struck a match inside my chest, and I narrowed my eyes, trying not to explode. “I lost my family, moved across the country to live with strangers, and was then treated like crap by the likes of you, and you think itmighthave hurt my feelings?”
Instead of lashing out like I thought he would, Cole hung his head. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“What?” I asked, putting a hand to my ear. “I can’t hear you.”
“I’m sorry. I was a jerk.”
“Oh, a jerk?” I snapped. If this was his apology, he was doing a lousy job. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Cole.”
Cole’s nostrils flared, but he didn’t show any other signs of his rage. “Hey, I’m trying to apologize here, okay?” When I didn’t respond, he took a deep breath. “I suppose I was jealous,” he finally said, looking down at the shaggy carpet.
“Jealous?” I echoed.
“Yeah.” He sounded hesitant, as if he wasn’t sure of his answer. Then he continued, “Of Alex.”
“What about Erin, Olivia, all those girls?”
“That’s just it,” Cole said, his fists clenching in frustration. “I don’t like any of those girls. It’s just—I don’t know. I feel like my friends have this expectation of who I am and how I should act. And then there’s Alex, and things just come so naturally to him.”
I laughed. “Things come natural to nerdy Alex, but not to superstar Cole?” I said bitterly.
“Yeah,” he said, looking right at me. “When it comes to relationships they do. He just acts like himself and everything goes so perfectly.”
“Perfectly?” I said. “You mean like with Mary?”
“Listen,” Cole said, holding up his hands. “I know that I can be a dick, but I swear, I would never do something like that to Alex. She told me thathedumped her. As soon as I found it was the other way around, I told her to get lost.”
I didn’t know what to say to this.
“Jackie,” Cole continued. “I shouldn’t have dragged you and your feelings into this, but I saw how close you and Alex were getting, and I just didn’t want to—” He paused, trying to think of the best way to phrase when he was saying. “I was selfish and afraid of being—”
“Alone?” I finished for him.
“Yeah,” Cole said, nodding his head. “I was afraid of being alone.”
“Welcome to my life,” I told him sadly.
