Page 91 of My Life with the Walter Boys
“Why?” I asked. “Everything you told me at Will’s was a lie.”
“That’s not true!”
“Bullshit. You gave me this crap speech about being a jerk because you were jealous of Alex, but as soon as we get home, what do you do?”
“Jackie, please—”
“No, Cole,” I snapped. “I’m so done with your shit. You don’t get a second chance.”
“What about Alex? You’ve given him two!”
“You’re right, Cole. I did. But the difference between you two is that whatyoudid—that was out of spite. And want to know what I think? I think that you enjoy being an asshole.”
“God, Jackie!” he exploded. “What did you expect after I opened up to you? I tell you my feelings, and then you turn around and date my brother.”
“What feelings, Cole? You never said anything about your feelings!”
“That I like you, Jackie! I didn’t know I had to spell it out, considering everything I’ve done for you.”
“Oh, so now you care about me? If that’s true, why would you try to get me in trouble like that?”
“Because you said yes to Alex!” he screamed. And then, as if he was out of steam, he dropped his head. “Why did you say yes?”
He buried his head in his hands, and we were both quiet for a long time.
“Cole,” I finally said as a chilly breeze drifted through the clearing, covering my arms in goose bumps. He lifted his head slowly but finally met my eyes. “I don’t understand you. One minute you’re making out with the entire cheerleading squad, and the next you’re mad at me for dating Alex? That’s not fair.”
“This was not how I imagined our conversation going,” he said, ripping a clump of grass from the ground. He started to shred the long green slices into tiny slivers.
“Lots of things don’t turn out how we plan,” I responded. After everything I’d been through, I’d learned to understand that.
“But I didn’t evenplanfor this to happen.” He moved his hand back and forth in the foot of space between us, indicating something more. I knew he meant me and him, and this thing going on between us, whatever that was.
“Look, Cole,” I said. “Neither did I, but I’m still dealing with it.”
And that’s when it hit me—about Romeo and Juliet, I mean. I never figured Cole or Alex into my life, just like Shakespeare’s most famous couple never anticipated falling in love. The Walter boys were unexpected, but I was still managing just like Romeo and Juliet did. Sure their way was unconventional, but what if that was the best they could do given the circumstance? Maybe I hadn’t given them enough credit.
I had been trying to fit my world into a small, safe box for so long. But life didn’t work like that. It could move in and out of the lines. You couldn’t control everything, because it wasn’t all meant to be perfect. Sometimes things needed to be messy.
I got up from the rock. So I couldn’t control the fact that Cole and Alex were in my life, making it one confusing mess. But I could uncomplicate it once and for all. Unlike Romeo and Juliet, I was going to take the easy way out of love. I had already made my decision the night I said yes to Alex. Now I had to follow through.
“I need to go back to the party before anyone starts worrying about me,” I said then. “You should go too.”
Cole didn’t move as I made my way out of the clearing. He just let me go.
***
The backyard was a sea of red cups, and I had to pick them all up.
Will woke everyone bright and early since we needed to erase the evidence of the party before Katherine and George got home. Impressed with how I took charge during his mom’s meltdown, Will employed my skills to organize the cleanup. I quickly split up the chores that needed to be tackled and dished them out to all the boys. I thought I had given myself the worst job, but I could hear Isaac complaining from the deck.
“Too early for this shit,” he said as he yanked his shirt over his head. He was responsible for cleaning the pool. Not only was it murky, but two patio chairs were submerged in the deep end and a swimsuit top was tied to the basketball hoop that hung over the water. With one last grumble, he dove in and the cups floating on the surface bobbed like buoys.
Besides Isaac, Danny was putting the house in order. Even though partygoers were restricted to the backyard, somehow the mess had managed to leak inside. Will and Haley were making sure the front yard was spotless, and for obvious reasons, I sent Cole to clean up by the waterfall.
After our conversation the night before, I’d returned to the party and spent the night talking with Alex and his friends. Malcolm was obnoxious the entire time—hitting on me and saying awkward things—until it got so bad that Alex pushed him into the freezing water. I didn’t notice when Cole rejoined his friends, but eventually I spotted him, a beer in one hand and his other arm wrapped around Olivia. He kept his distance, but I caught him watching me from across the beach more than once.
This morning was tense. There wasn’t much time for breakfast, so we started a toast assembly line. Danny put the bread in the toaster. When it was done cooking, he handed to Isaac who put it on a paper plate and passed it to Cole. He would spread jam on one piece before sliding the plate to me, so I could butter the second piece. Finally, Alex would cut both pieces in half and move the plate to the kitchen table. I don’t know how I ended up squished between Cole and Alex, but I could feel how uncomfortable Cole was.
