Page 41 of My Return to the Walter Boys
“Cool,” he said, pushing up his sleeves. “I’ll wash, you dry?”
That was doable, so I offered him a nod, and we got to work. I did my best to focus on the task at hand and quickly realized that drying dishes required little concentration. That left me with plenty of room to overthink. With Cole beside me, it was impossible not to relive the humiliating moment when I interrupted his alone time. I kept my head down and eyes trained on the plate in my hands, the memory embarrassing enough to heat my cheeks. Even worse, Cole was acting completely normal. He swayed back and forth as he sang along to the music, his shoulder brushing lightly against my own. The brief contact was enough to make my thoughts spiral further, and I found myself clutching each dish in a death grip.
Cole’s singing grew increasingly louder. Soon, his vocals were so theatrical, I couldn’t resist glancing over at him. Soapy water slid down the spatula he was using as a makeshift microphone, and it took me several long seconds to register that Cole was serenading me with a kitchen utensil. I watched dumbfounded, unable to form an adequate response as he reached into the sink and splashed me. When the water hit my face, I let out a startled gasp, which quickly turned into an open-mouthed smile. Cole seemed pleased with this reaction, and the next moment, he was pulling me away from the sink and into a sporadicdance, his wet hands clutching mine as he swept us across the kitchen.
“You’re in a good mood tonight,” I said, surprised at the ease with which my words came. Somehow, he’d managed to chase away my panic with his terrible singing and a few swift moves.
Cole was looking down at me as we swayed to the music, his intense expression bathing me in warmth. My earlier feelings of embarrassment quickly faded into a different sort of uneasy, one with the power to make my insides flutter.
He pulled me closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. “I had a great day,” he said into my ear.
I tried to steady my breathing as his scent washed over me. “Will you tell me about it?”
“A new customer came into the shop today looking for an engine rebuild,” he explained. “He’s a dirt track racer. Not famous or anything, but he competes in all the local races. I guess his mechanic quit out of the blue, so he’s hired me to do it.”
“I take it you’re excited?”
“Yeah, I miss working on my car. Normally, all I do at Tony’s is change oil or replace brake pads.”
Though I couldn’t see his face, I could tell Cole was smiling.
“So what exactly does an engine rebuild entail?” I asked.
I rested my head against Cole’s chest as he dove into the intricacies of rebuilding an engine. Though it was nearly impossible for me to follow along, the intensity of his words told me everything I needed to know. Working on cars made him happy, and the passion in his voicecontinued to ease the tension in my body. It was no surprise when a fear that had been plaguing me for weeks—could we really just be friends?—flickered to awareness inside me again. My head knew I’d made the logical decision, but every other part of me wanted Cole Walter. Although I told myself it was for the best, I couldn’t ignore how I felt when I was around him.
As we continued to sway around the kitchen, I imagined us in the gym, me in my sister’s dress and Cole in a white dress shirt with the first few buttons undone. He looked effortlessly handsome, as usual, his hair messy and his eyes bright. Just the thought of us attending homecoming together filled me with anticipation, though I reminded myself that I’d already ensured it wouldn’t happen. The realization that I’d messed up rushed over me, darkening the pretty picture of us I was painting in my head.
The sound of Alex’s voice pulled me out of the daydream.
“Jackie?” he said, appearing in kitchen doorway, a book clutched in his hand. “Can you help me with the problem set for physics? I don’t think I’m doing this right.”
It took a moment for me to come back to my senses. Cole and I glanced at each other, and I felt an undeniable pull to move closer to him despite Alex standing only feet away. A long silence filled the room.
Eventually, Cole spoke, his voice teasing. “Don’t worry, New York. I can finish the dishes on my own.” He released my hand and stepped back. “Alex needs as much help as he can get.”
I nodded in agreement, though the last thing I wanted to do waswalk away from Cole, even if it meant getting out of our chore. Taking a deep breath, I gave him a goodbye smile and followed after Alex. I could feel Cole’s gaze heavy on my back and was unable to resist glancing over my shoulder one last time. Our eyes met immediately, my heart twisting at the longing expression on his face. I allowed myself a brief moment to feel that same longing before pushing it down and turning away.
***
All anyone could talk about for the next week was homecoming: who asked whom, what their dress looked like or how they planned to do their hair, where dinner reservations were made, and which after-party they wanted to attend. Even the Walters were making plans for Saturday night. Alex and Kim were obviously going together, and Nathan with a group of friends. Lee, the grumpiest grump in the world, had somehow secured a date. The only person who wouldn’t be there was Isaac; his grounding had been extended after flipping Katherine off.
I found the constant, single-minded focus exhausting, especially since my friends kept pestering me to come. They all had someone to go with, and I didn’t want to be a third wheel. Heather offered to set me up with her cousin, but as thoughtful as her suggestion was, there was only one boy I could picture wearing Lucy’s dress for. I wanted to go with Cole, but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him. To do so now wouldn’tbe fair. Not when I’d pushed him away, again and again and again. It was a hard pill to swallow, realizing that I started running from him the moment we met. Of course, that didn’t stop me from remembering how it felt to be held in his arms as he spun me around the kitchen. These indulgent recollections led to a willfully stupid idea—that I could purge the image of us together from my head if I tried on Lucy’s dress.
After school, I went straight to the art studio. It was strange, knocking on what used to be my bedroom door, but I learned my lesson about entering rooms unannounced the hard way.Twice.
“Yeah?” came a groggy reply.
I froze, not expecting an answer. Cole always worked on Thursdays, so why the heck was he home? I’d thought I could sneak in, grab the garment bag, and slip out, leaving him none the wiser. Plan ruined, I momentarily considered retreating without a word, but the springs in the mattress suddenly groaned, and two seconds later, Cole was answering the door as he tugged a shirt over his head. It was dark inside, but light from the hall flooded the room, highlighting the tangled bedding.
“Hey,” he said through a yawn. The hair at the back of his head was sticking up in different directions, and he combed his fingers through the mess, trying to smooth it down.
My stomach swooped at the sight of him looking so disheveled. In that moment, I wanted to shove Cole back on the bed and press my body against his.
“Sorry,” I said, my cheeks heating. “I didn’t mean to wake you, butcan I grab something out of the closet?”
He held out a hand in welcome and moved aside. “Be my guest.”
Not wanting him to notice the longing look on my face, I attempted to keep my gaze downcast as I shuffled inside, but my eyes kept flitting up to him. When the corner of his mouth twitched, I let my breath out in a huff. “What?”
