Page 74 of My Return to the Walter Boys
She gave me a few instructions—mainly don’t let anyone trick me into putting on another movie and make sure everyone brushed their teeth—then retreated to her room. The sugar crash happened not long after. By the time the closing credits rolled, the kids could barely keep their eyes open, and it didn’t take much effort for me to corral them upstairs. Teeth were brushed, pajamas were donned, and then I was standing in the middle of the upstairs hall, not sure what to do with myself.
Despite the late hour, I was wide awake.
I’d spent most of the movie fixated on what Isaac told me at the diner. I desperately wanted to believe him—that I was one of the Walters now. On nights like tonight, when I was treated like an older sister, it wasn’t so difficult a notion to accept. But there were other times, like dinner yesterday, when I wondered if a small part of me would always feel like an outsider. At that moment, what I wanted the most was to talk to Danny. He’d learned over the summer how to distract me from overthinking, but I didn’t want to chance wakinghim, because dress rehearsals for the play started tomorrow, and he needed to get a good night’s sleep.
Nathan was a good listener, and things were better between us now that he’d told me about his continued seizures, but he typically kept to a sleep schedule. I glanced out the window even though there was no way he was awake at this hour, then did a double take when I noticed the light still on in the barn.
That decided things, then.
I was almost to the stairs when I heard whispered voices. The door to Katherine and George’s room was ajar, a soft golden light pouring through the crack.
“…think we were too hard on them?” Katherine asked as I passed by.
Not wanting to invade their privacy, I kept going, but then George spoke, and it brought me to a standstill. “Not at all. They had to learn that we have expectations for their behavior, especially if they’re dating.”
Oh hell.Nerves churned in my stomach as I realized Katherine and George were talking about me and Cole. Eavesdropping on their conversation made my skin prickle in discomfort, but at the same time, I’d been worrying nonstop since Katherine caught the two of us together. I bit my lip as I considered what to do. If this was my chance to know how she really felt…
“I’m not sure if they are dating anymore.” A surprising amount of disappointment laced Katherine’s tone.
George chuckled softly. “Well, that was quick.”
“Don’t laugh,” she hissed at him. “I’m worried it’s our fault. Jackie’s been withdrawn since our discussion, I haven’t seen them spend any time together since, and nowthis?”
I had no clue what she meant by “this,” but the way she emphasized the word made it seem bad, and an unsettling chill skated down my spine.
“Love, it’s going to be okay,” he replied, and I could hear the smile on his face. “They’re teenagers. Breakups happen.”
“I know, I know. But seeing them together? It put a ridiculous thought in my head that I can’t stop picturing.”
“What’s that?” George asked.
Katherine paused for so long, I thought I’d missed her response. “That she’d be our daughter one day,” she finally said. “Officially.”
“It’s a nice thought,” George replied with another soft laugh, “but Jackie will always be a part of our family regardless of her relationship with Cole. You know that, right?”
His declaration made me sway slightly on the spot.
“Yes, but…” Katherine’s voice cracked. “What if she goes off to Princeton and never comes back?”
I leaned in closer, desperate to hear George’s answer, but the floorboard creaked below me. Heart slamming against my rib cage, I scrambled away as quietly as possible and fled to the safety of my room. Once I was inside, I stood with my back pressed against the door as my chest rose and fell in quick succession. My mind was racing with everything I’d overheard.
For starters, what the hell was Katherine thinking, picturing me and Cole married? I was only sixteen, for crying out loud! Marriage wasn’t even included in my ten-year plan. And George! Was I losing it, or had he really said I’d always be a part of the Walters family? If he truly meant that, did that mean… Was Isaacright? I really was one of them now?
Pulling out my phone, I slid down the door and opened my photo gallery. Before leaving for New York, I’d taken a picture of the mural Katherine had painted on the side of the barn. I’d been so touched by her gesture to include me. At the time, I’d thought she added me because she felt bad that I didn’t have anyone else, but it still warmed my heart to know someone was thinking of me. Once I got home, however, all the pain and guilt I’d been avoiding came flooding back, and I hadn’t been able to stomach looking at it. How could I when my real family was gone?
Now, though? I couldn’t look away.
There I was, right between Cole and Alex. Danny was beside us, and I—
Oh no.
My eyes snapped back to Cole. He had his arm wrapped around my shoulders, his hair tousled just so. With the exception of his letterman jacket, which probably felt like a sore subject for him now, Katherine had captured her second oldest perfectly. She’d even gotten his smirk down right.
God, I loved that smirk. He sure knew how to use it to irritateme, but that was half the fun of things, wasn’t it? The back-and-forth, testing each other until we knew all the right buttons to push. What we had was so much more than the banter and flirting, though. It had taken Danny an entire summer to learn the ins and outs of who I was: what my tells were, what made me laugh, when to back off versus when to dig deeper, how to comfort me. Those were all things that his twin knew intrinsically. Cole had me pegged from the moment I arrived in Colorado, and he’d used that understanding to help me get by, even if I didn’t realize it at the time.
Cole was right; I had been afraid. In fact, I’d been so afraid of what I might lose that I forgot the very first thing he taught me when I moved to Colorado—that it was okay to live a little. And because of that fear, I’d thrown everything I had with him away.
But maybe I could get it back.
