Page 38 of At First Smile
“Where is he?”
The question is met only with the ceiling fan’s quiet hum and click of the air conditioning turning on.
My body still zings from Rowan’s demanding kisses, exploring hands, thrusting hips, and wicked promise.You don’t need to beg with me, luv.
I kick out of the blankets and scramble off the bed to check the bathroom. I press my ear against the door and hear more silence. Eyes closed, I lean against the wall and relive last night. Before I wade too deep into the waters of doubt, the door’s lock disengaging snaps my attention.
“Good morning,” Rowan says, stepping into the room, paper bag handles over his right wrist while his hand balances a beverage carrier with two to-go cups.
“You’re here.” A tiny ache pulses in my throat.
“I woke up about an hour ago. You were sleeping so soundly, so I didn’t want to wake you. I grabbed us breakfast.” Allowing the door to shut behind him, he crosses to the small table tucked up against the oversized window. “I grabbed us tea, some yogurt parfaits and”—he hoists up a pastry bag— “a croissant. They didn’t have a baklava kind, so I got chocolate almond.” He turns and halts. “Pen, are you alright?”
Hands wringing, I frown. “I thought you left.”
“Just to get breakfast.” His green eyes fix on me.
“That was sweet… I’m sorry, I’ve never done this.” I gesture between us.
His head tilts. “Have breakfast?”
My mouth lifts into a small smile. “Have whatever last night was. When I woke up and you were gone… I worried it was a one-night stand kind of thing. Which is silly because we didn’t even have sex. Although, you did make me come.” I press my right hand against my brow. “Oh god, then I fell asleep before returning the favor. That must have been so uncomfortable for you and?—”
He closes the distance between us and places his hands on my shoulders. “First, I have no intentions of last night being a one-time anything. Do you?”
“No.”
His big grin wakes up the butterflies in my stomach. “Then we’re on the same page. Second, return the favor? Making you come wasn’tafavor that I expect repayment for. Feeling you fall apart beneath me and listening to those little noises you made ensured I went to bed with the biggest shit-eating grin.”
“I’m sorry.” I let out a stuttered breath. “I’m not usually this insecure. I haven’t been with anyone since Alex. He kind of messed me up a bit, and I haven’t trusted myself.” I bite back the thoughts that churn in my gut. The ones that worry that I made another mistake. “I like you, though,” I murmur.
His thumb coasts along my cheek. “I like you, too.”
That ache in my throat dissolves.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here when you woke up.”
“No, I’m sorry I’m beingneedy.” Cringing, I turn my gaze toward the door.
Rowan places his hand on my chin and guides my eyes back to him. “There’s nothing wrong with having needs and expressing them. We all deserve to have our desires met. I was a little needy last night and you were there for me, giving me exactly what I wanted.”
Like a kitten, I melt into the tender strokes of his fingers along my jawline. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” His hand cups my cheek. “It’s understandable you’d be a little gun shy after what Alex did.”
I nod.
Tiny embers ignite inside me. Alex taints this moment. Thousands of miles away in this sleepy inn where I stand in front of this sweet man – whose arms cocooned me in a sense of belonging, support, and safety all night – Alex’s baritone, smooth but venomous, and clicky dress shoes still stalk me around every corner.
“I can’t erase how he hurt you, but I could kill him for making you question anyone wanting you. For him making you believe your only value to him is your social media following or reputation. For making you think someone wouldn’t want just you.”
“Just Pen.”
A smirk twists his features. “Is there such a thing?” His fingers brush into my hair. “Know this: now that I know what it’s like to hold you, I don’t think I could ever walk away from you.”
My teeth clamp down on my lip, fighting the oversize grin trying to bloom. “I like being held by you.”
His hands come to my hips, pulling me against him. “God, all I want to do is pull you back into that bed and kiss away any worry you have, but right now I need to feed you. It’s almost nine, and we have to check out and be on the road by eleven.”
