Page 37 of Landing Her Eagle
He knows he’s in trouble because the words spill out all at once as he rushes to explain. “None of them were good enough for you. They were all hit-it-and-quit-it types. You deserved someone who would date you and appreciate you. Obviously, if I could discourage them so easily, they weren’t worthy of you. You deserve to be fought for.” His eyebrows furrow. “None of the college guys asked you out. What about Liam? Has he asked you out?”
“Not seriously, and anyway, I’ve never said yes.” I don’t know why I’m reassuring him. He’s not off my shit list yet. I didn’t want to date any of those guys. They were each cute in their own way, but none of them gave me butterflies the way Logan always has. But it was formeto decide. It wasn’t Logan’s place to stop anything before it even started. If he knew what I deserved, then why didn’t he step up and be that man sooner?
His ability to read my mind is on point tonight because he responds as if I asked the question aloud.
“I was an idiot. I knew those guys weren’t worthy of you. I had opinions on what you deserved, and I didn’t think I fit the bill either. I wanted to sow a few wild oats, and I valued our friendship. I didn’t see how I could have it all—friendship, adventure, a physical relationship—with you.”
I flinch. Hearing that hurts.
Logan reaches out for my hand again, remorse in his expression. “Chalk it up to being young and dumb, not recognizing you were everything I wanted and needed. Obviously, we still need to figure out details, but I know, together, we can have everything I’ve always wanted. We can have it all.”
I smile, but it feels tight, and I pull my hand away from his, wrapping it around the cool tumbler of iced tea. The icy glass cools my anger and my hand.
I stare at Logan and say with an atypical directness for me, “You were an idiot, but so was I. There’s no reason I couldn’t have told you how I felt or approached guys if I was interested in them.” I stretch out my leg under the table to tap his foot with mine. “We are in the twenty-first century, not a Jane Austen novel. I can go for what I want. I don’t have to wait for a man to decide I’m worthy of his attention.”
I take another sip of my iced tea. If I’d known we were having this type of dinner conversation, I would have opted for the Long Island version. “I accept I was passive in our relationship when I could have approached you to see if you were interested in more, but I was afraid you wouldn’t and then I’d lose your friendship. Or, even worse, what if we tried, and it didn’t work out? I would have lost your friendship, had my heart broken, and been all alone. I’m not sure I was strong enough then to handle that.”
I grab his Guinness and take a sip because I need something stronger than iced tea. Placing the glass back on the table in front of him, I swallow and lick any foam that may be along my top lip. His gaze follows my tongue when it sweeps across my lip. I do it again to mess with him, causing him to take a sip as well, turning the glass so his lips land where mine recently were. Wow, that’s kind of hot.
“Here we go! Bacon cheeseburger.” Steve, the mood killer, places Logan’s burger on the table. “Grilled ham and Swiss on rye for the beautiful lady.” He winks at me as he lowers my plate in front of me. “And a basket of fries for the lovebirds to share.” With his tray now empty, he puts it under his arm and asks if there’s anything else we need. We order refills of our drinks. I’m sticking with my nonalcoholic choice. We can always have a nightcap back at the hotel.
Logan adds ketchup to his burger and grabs the pickle off my plate. I can’t stand pickles, so it’s nice to have a dining companion that will get rid of mine for me. I take a bite of my sandwich and barely suppress a groan. It’s so good.
Both of us have our mouths full when Steve brings our drinks, so we nod our thanks.
Swallowing his bite of burger, Logan conversationally says, “You know, we could always skip the tour and go back to the hotel.”
It’s a tempting idea because our remaining time together is limited, but I want to do more than make out with my boyfriend, Logan, all the time. I want to spend time with myfriendLogan too. I know what to expect from friend Logan. He can’t disappoint me. Boyfriend Logan could break my heart, and I’m not sure it can survive another blow.
I shake my head. “We already bought our tickets taking spots someone else could have had, and I want to do the tour. I want to see how they do it. When we’d take tours when I was younger, I’d drive my parents crazy, asking them what their favorite parts were and taking notes on how I’d do it better. I used to write out scripts for tours I’d want to do. One video that got ruined when the basement flooded was me dressed as a tour guide for Halloween and giving a tour of the neighborhood as I trick-or-treated. I was pointing out trees that still had leaves, mentioning which houses put up the best holiday decorations, who had friendly dogs, silly stuff like that.”
“You know our hotel is haunted, right?” Logan smiles. “Maybe we’ll see one tonight.”
I’m working my way through the basket of fries now that I’ve finished my sandwich, and I wave my fry as I answer. “I knew that! Rumor is this restaurant is haunted too. There are quite a few ghosts here on the Washington Street Mall. I have a couple of books about Cape May hauntings. Did you knowGhost Huntersdid an episode at the Southern Mansion? Maybe we can stay there the next time we visit.”
“Would you want to give ghost tours?” Logan asks. “I love ghost stories for the historic insights they give. It’s a way for the average person to be known when they didn’t live a life deemed exciting enough for a history textbook.”
I shake my head. “Nah, I’m afraid I’d bring my work home with me.”
His bark of laughter makes me grin. Steve arrives to clear our plates and ask if we’d like anything else, leaving our check when we assure him we’re done. Logan puts cash to cover the check and Steve’s tip in the bill holder, and with a smirk, shows me the check. Steve wroteYou’re a lucky man, dude. Have a great night.Standing, Logan puts out a hand to help me rise from the booth.
Holding hands, we exit the restaurant, waving to Steve as we leave.
“We have about half an hour before the tour. Want to window shop on our way to the loading spot?” Logan is swinging our arms while we walk. It’s so carefree, and I love it.
“Yeah, sounds good,” I reply. “We have to get fudge, so we need to pop in there on the way back to the room.”
We stretch the five-minute walk to the trolley pick-up point with window shopping. We decide that after the tour, we’ll check out the selection of mystery jigsaw puzzles in the toy shop. Logan’s parents enjoy assembling jigsaw puzzles together and reading mysteries. Combining them in one activity sounds like a great possible Christmas gift.
The trolley is allowing passengers on when we arrive. We climb aboard and take seats toward the back. The tour guide is very knowledgeable and shares a few spooky tales of hauntings throughout town. I wish the tour was longer. I loved the experience of riding on the trolley through the streets of this beautiful historic town, listening to stories and being snuggled next to Logan. If he comes home, maybe we’ll come back and take more tours. There are several of them closer to Christmas. Or maybe I’ll just take them by myself. Or not.
On our visit to the toy shop, we decide on a Titanic murder mystery jigsaw puzzle for his parents for Christmas. At his suggestion, I cross the Mall to the fudge shop while he waits in line to pay.
“I want chocolate chip and chocolate peanut butter. How about you?” I ask Logan when he joins me, perusing the variety of fudge behind the glass.
“I like plain vanilla. What about Snickers?”
We end up with two pounds of fudge in a variety of flavors. It freezes, so there may be some left when Logan comes home. Or maybe not if I eat my feelings. We get a free box of saltwater taffy, too. There will be some of that for Logan, since I don’t like all the flavors.
