Page 38 of Landing Her Eagle
Wandering back to the hotel hand in hand, we admire the beautiful houses we pass. Many are bed and breakfasts, but a few are private homes. I can’t imagine what it would be like to live in one of these houses and raise a family. It’s such a vacation destination. It must be weird to be here when the town is quiet.
“I love these Victorians,” I say. “I wonder what it’s like to live in one.”
He considers it. “They are beautiful, but they’re so jammed together, and you have to deal with the summer traffic. I’d rather live in one closer to home. There are beautiful ones along Shore Road that would be stunning with a bit of work. They have yards too. If your heart isn’t set on a Victorian, there are colonial homes in Port, not that they come up for sale often, but we have time. We can be patient.”
I cock my head to the side. “Why would we be house hunting? We have a house.” We’ve reached the hotel and are climbing the stairs to our room. Logan lets go of my hand to remove our room key from his front pocket and unlocks the door. I walk in ahead of him and turn on a few lights.
“It’s not that big of a house. We’ll outgrow it when we have kids.” Logan peers at me like this should be obvious.
When did kids enter the picture? He leaves the day after tomorrow, and we haven’t done any baby-making activities yet, so there’s no possibility of kids anytime soon.
“You want kids, don’t you?” The uncertainty on Logan’s face and in his voice isn’t something I’m used to.
Shrugging, I reply, “I’ve never really thought about it.”
“Really?” He sounds surprised.
“Really. Why plan for a future that probably won’t happen? You know the saying—make plans and God laughs. I’ve learned that lesson well. If I ever get married, I’ll think about it then.”
“If you ever get married?” He’s pacing in front of the windows. “What do you think we’re doing?”
Is this a trick question? “We’ve been together for a week, and you leave the day after tomorrow for a month and a half. We aren’t getting married. We’re barely dating.”
A flash of hurt crosses his face. What is that about?
“I assumed this was a temporary thing while you were here,” I say. “When you came home, we’d see where we were and maybe do it again?”
Right? We’re going to be apart, so how would we keep this going?
“Are you putting a time limit on our relationship?” I’m not used to hearing anger in Logan’s voice. Especially directed at me.
“What? No! I’m just trying to be realistic. You’re gone ten months out of the year, Logan! How am I supposed to make that work?”
“Daphne, why is it realistic to think we’ll not be together forever?”
His question brings me up short. “Nothing lasts forever. My parents didn’t last forever.”
“Oh, Daph.” Logan reaches out and pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and caresses my cheek. Closing my eyes, I press my cheek against his palm, savoring the warmth and wanting to imprint it on my brain to remember when he’s gone. “They’re the textbook definition of forever. They died together. Didn’t live a day apart since they wed.”
I blink back the hot tears that have suddenly gathered in my eyes and pull away. “Okay, nothing lasts foreverfor me. I don’t get forever. Everyone leaves me, and I get left behind.”
“You know that’s not true, Daphne. Your parents died in a tragic accident. They didn’t choose to leave you. Your grandmother was old and sick. It wasn’t her choice.” Logan tries to embrace me.
I give a harsh laugh and pull away from him. “So, it’s only you that chooses to leave me? You talk about forever, but all you ever do is leave.”
“I’m notleavingyou. I’m going to work. I always come back to you. And you aren’t left behind. You choose not to go! I’ve asked you countless times to join me, and you always say no.”
“I have to work too! I need the health insurance my job provides. I need to pay taxes on the house and pay my bills. My savings would only cover me for six months.”
“So come with me for six months! We’ll figure it out.”
I sit on the bed, exhausted. Today was like a dream come true, and now it’s turned into a nightmare.
Logan sits next to me on the bed. I rest my head on his shoulder, and he wraps his arm around me. I don’t want to waste our time together fighting. I want to enjoy this time and have memories to cherish all the days I’m alone.
“I’m always going to come back to you, Daphne,” Logan repeats.
He believes that, but my parents expected to come back home that night too. Every time he leaves, there’s a chance he’s not coming home to me. It doesn’t matter if he chooses to leave me or if something takes him from me, I’ll be alone again.
