Page 47 of Landing Her Eagle
I can’t believe only two and a half weeks ago I was sitting on this couch with my phone and iPad, drinking my rum and Diet Pepsi, waiting for Logan to FaceTime me from Prague. So much has changed since then. We’ve snuggled and made out on this couch, we’ve cooked meals together in the kitchen, and we’ve slept together in our bed.
Nothing has really changed, though. I’m still working at a job that doesn’t fulfill me, and he’s still thousands of miles away, traveling and going on his adventures. I have ideas to change things so we can be together, and I’m hopeful Logan will support me.
The FaceTime notification shows up exactly at seven, and I click to connect. Logan’s handsome face fills the screen. He is in bed with his chest bare and his hair rumpled. He must have slept before calling me.
“Hey, Sunshine. How was your day?” Oh my, Logan’s voice is all deep and rumbly, and I feel it in my core.
I press my thighs together in reflex.
“It was good. I had lunch with Mallory, and we talked about work stuff.” I take a deep breath and blurt out, “Would you be okay if I cut back to part-time after the new year? I need to know the minimum number of hours I need to keep my health insurance and make enough to cover my bills, but I think I can structure my schedule so I can travel with you a bit. I can’t travel full-time, but I want to be with you.”
My hands are shaking. I’m nervous. How will he respond? I clasp them and hold them in my lap so Logan can’t see.
His large, radiant smile reassures me. “Daphne, yes! Absolutely! I love it. Have you spoken to Uncle Will?”
I guess he’s good with the idea.
“I haven’t spoken to him yet. I wanted to let Mallory know first since this will affect her. I don’t know if my going part-time will be the impetus to close the department, or if they’d pile more work on her. They could lay us both off, but Mallory doubts that will happen. She figures they’ll move us over to something else within the legal department. I don’t think I’d like that, but I don’t know what I’d want to do.”
I’m rambling because I’m nervous, which is silly because this is Logan. I can tell him anything. He’s wanted me to quit or cut back forever so I can travel with him. He’s always wanted that. Gah, why am I nervous?
“Daph, breathe. It’s okay. I know you’re scared, but I got you.” Logan’s words are reassuring. But having him here with his arms around me would be even better.
“I know. It’s scary. I haven’t even done anything yet beyond talking to Mallory, but that felt like a commitment to changing, and you know I don’t do change well.”
“That’s not true, sunshine. You’ve had so much change and upheaval in your life, and you’ve dealt with it. It makes sense to want to control the things you can when so much in your life has been out of your control.”
I feel the prick of tears because he finally understands me. He’s always been my friend and has accepted me for who I am, mostly, but I’m aware I frustrate him sometimes with my reluctance to jump into things. He never knew fearless, adventurous me. I thought she died when my parents did, but it turns out she only went into hibernation, and she’s about to reawaken as an older, wiser, more cautious version of that girl. This version knows there are things to be cautious of but is not afraid because she’s strong enough to deal with what comes her way.
The years since my parents’ deaths may have tempered the fearlessness and sense of spontaneity I had as a girl, but they gave me strength and resiliency. I’m grateful for that. Finally. Accepting and understanding are two different things, and feeling understood is stirring unexpected feelings in me. We spent the past week exploring each other’s bodies, but I think this is the most intimate with another person I’ve ever felt.
Sniffling, I choke out, “Oh, Logan, my heart. Oh, thank you for the necklace! I love it! It’s beautiful.”
When he sees my tears, an expression of alarm crosses his face.
I giggle. My tears are his kryptonite. It’s a weapon I’m careful not to use against him. “I’m okay. Don’t worry. I’m happy. How was your day? You spent time with Mari?” It’s easier to change the subject than delve into my feelings tonight. “I hope you got pictures of the kids.”
Going along with my change of subject, Logan replies, “I did. I’ll send them in the morning. Mari sends her love.”
I smile. I’ve never met Marisol in person, but we’ve texted and chatted a few times. I know she and Logan were never lovers, but I sometimes still feel insecure about their friendship. Mari is deeply in love with her husband though, and even if she wasn’t, there isn’t a romantic spark between her and Logan.
She’s his very good friend, and I’m glad they’re friends. I was jealous for a while because it appeared that she had everything I’d never have, but I got over that years ago. I have something she’ll never have—Logan’s heart.
It’s the middle of the night for him, so I don’t intend on keeping him on the phone too late.
“Were you leaving Madrid tomorrow? Well, in the morning, I guess. For you. It’s already tomorrow there.”
“I am leaving Madrid in the morning and starting the drive to Lisbon, and then I’m going to Golegã for the Feira Nacional do Cavalo.” I love the accent he uses to pronounce that. “The Portuguese National Horse Fair.” Logan knows I’ve always loved horses. I wish I was going with him, but there will be other years. “There are equestrian competitions in show jumping, dressage, driving, and other disciplines and cultural events like art exhibits and photography showcases.” He shifts in bed, and I enjoy watching his muscles flex. “Have you ever gone to the Devon Horse Show?”
From Portugal to Pennsylvania, that’s a leap. “Nope, have you?”
He shakes his head. “No. We should go next year. I think it’s in May?”
I can’t help my grin because he’s planning on being here in May. “I’d love that.”
Logan yawns, and I glance at the clock over the TV. It’s almost half past one in the morning there. He must be tired. Even though he slept on the plane, today was a long day, and his body is off schedule.
“How far is the drive?” I ask Logan. “Can you do it in one day?” I can find Madrid and Lisbon on a map and judge the distance in miles, but that doesn’t tell me how long the drive truly is. I don’t know what the highway system is like, the speed limits, or if there are places he’ll want to stop at along the way.
