Page 136 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
‘I know, darling. You were shot. You have stitches. The bullet tore right through your shoulder. You will need to take it easy for a long while.’
He could see her memory returning, flashing behind her eyes. ‘Where am I?’
‘Home. Safe. Phillip is here with you.’
Tears glittered in her eyes as she looked beyond John for her brother.
‘Katherine.’ Phillip leaned forward. John straightened and stepped back, letting her hand go.
She reached out. ‘Phillip.’
‘John and I have let you down. I knew about Mr Wareham, too, Kate, he has been stealing from John. We should have told you…’
John saw her clasp Phillip’s hand tighter. ‘Mr Wareham said he is my father. Do you think he is? Why would he?—’
‘He lied.’ There was anger in Phillip’s response as he silenced Katherine. ‘He can only have said it to be cruel. Do not believe it.’
Phillip knew who her father was, John would swear it. His voice had held too much conviction. But Phillip had always said no one knew.
John glanced at Katherine, frowning. She’d not noticed Phillip’s odd reaction.
‘I must go, Kate, I am sorry.’ Phillip stood, then leaned to kiss Katherine’s forehead. ‘I will come back soon. Do as John says and rest.’
John moved out of the way, but he was dumbfounded by Phillip’s sudden haste. He had not long come.
Phillip said goodbye, shaking John’s hand, then his heels rang on the parquet floor as he left the room.
John faced Katherine, unsure what to say.
‘I am sorry, John.’
‘You have nothing to be sorry for.’ He sat beside her and held her hand, while his other wiped her tears away.
‘I should have known you dismissed him for a reason, but I felt sorry for him.’
His thumb stroked her hand. ‘It is not your fault. You asked me and I did not tell you.’ Unable to look at her, John’s head bowed under the weight of guilt. ‘I used you, Katherine, terribly. It is I who am sorry, sorrier than I can ever say.’ He looked back up and faced the eyes that had enchanted him from the moment of their first reunion.
‘I should have told you why I laid him off when you asked me. What you said the night before last was right. My life is like a Chinese cabinet with a hundred different drawers. I open and shut them depending on where I am and who I am with and what face or knowledge I am to display to the world. I do not put you away and forget you, but yes, I have tried to hide you in a drawer in my life. You are precious to me. You have been from the beginning. I did not want to share what we have with anyone else. But I heard what you said.’
‘I went to an orphanage?—’
‘I know.’
‘I liked it.’ Her eyes lifted to the canopy above the bed. ‘I am going to work there, in the day when you are not here.’ She glanced back at him. ‘The children have so much love to give, John, and they need someone to give it back.’
Because you think me incapable of providing the love you need.He sighed and rose, still unable to discuss his feelings easily. He was unchanged. He had to change.
‘You ought to eat and drink something. You lost a lot of blood.’ He left her bedside to ring the bell.
‘Do not leave.’
‘I am only going to ring for a maid.’I must change.
He pulled the cord, then came back to the bed and sat beside her, holding her hand once more. ‘Can you no longer love me, Katherine? Have I killed what you felt for me?’
A little choking sound came from her throat as she tried to sit up and then winced.
‘Shall I fetch you some laudanum?’
