Page 56 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
‘It would not be a ball,’ Katherine looked back at her sister. ‘He is still in mourning.’
‘No, but it is a dinner party.’ Phillip smiled. ‘And we are all invited, along with half of local society, mind you, so do not think yourselves particularly favoured.’
Phillip let Jenny take the invitation and looked at Kate. ‘His family will all be there, Eleanor and Margaret too. You shall be mixing with a quarter of the House of Lords again.’
Katherine’s smile fell. ‘I shall not. I cannot go.’ Her words were spoken in a bitter whisper so Jenny would not hear. ‘I have nothing to wear.’
‘How exciting!’ Jenny cried beside them. ‘He has a dozen eligible cousins too, doesn’t he? Oh, I am going to tell Mama.’
Phillip gave Jenny an adoring look as she left the room, but when he looked back at Katherine there was concern in his eyes. ‘He will take it as an insult if you are not there, Kate.’
‘Then do you have the money to buy me a dress?’ she retorted. It was entirely out of character for her to be petulant and yet this was not fair. How could she stay at home when everyone else went to see John?
‘You know I do not.’ His voice said he wished he did. ‘Wear the dress you wore at Jenny’s party.’
‘This is not a local assembly, Phillip, I cannot wear a dress which is little more than a day gown. I would look ridiculous.’ Tears burned in her eyes.
He held her gaze but clearly did not know what to say.
She could not remember ever being angry with him before, nor begging for anything, nor even crying over things she lacked. Yet she refused to stand among John’s family and look so horribly out of place. She could never bear such embarrassment.
She sat back down and covered her face as the tears overflowed.
‘Kate?’ Phillip squatted down beside her, his palm settling on her shoulder.
‘I cannot go,’ she said into her hands.
‘Kate, I am sure John’s family will not care what you wear, and everyone else knows how things stand anyway.’
‘And you think that makes it better?’ she said, looking up. ‘I care!’ In the hall she could hear Jenny’s excited outpouring of enthusiasm as she told their mother.
‘If I could buy you a dress I would.’
She hugged him, her arms about his neck, but cried again.
He held her in return, hesitantly, as though unsure of what to do.
When she heard Jenny returning with their mother she pulled away and wiped the tears from her face. She told herself to stop being so silly. This was her life. She could not reorder it, merely live it, and she had always done that well enough before. She must not feel sorry for herself.
‘I am sorry,’ she whispered to Phillip, forcing herself to smile before Jenny and their mother came in. ‘I know you do your best to help me. I am just having a selfish moment, that is all. It hardly matters, it is just one party.’
Phillip’s eyebrows lifted. ‘People do not cry over things which hardly matter, Katherine.’
‘I am just tired,’ she answered dismissively, rising. He stood too. ‘When you see John, please tell him I am sorry but I cannot come.’
‘Katherine, just go, let people think what they like about your dress.’
She shook her head. She could not appear so insignificant before John.
12
‘Miss Katherine?’ Hetty appeared with a light scratch on Katherine’s chamber door. ‘There’s another parcel come for you, miss.’
Katherine looked up. She had retreated to her room to escape the excitement which still raged downstairs. Jenny had talked of nothing but John’s party since this morning.
‘Hetty?’ Katherine saw a large flat box in her hands.
The girl bobbed a curtsy.
