Page 61 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
Footsteps rang on the marble below.
‘Katherine!’ It was Phillip.
John stepped back.
‘Are you coming? Oh. Sorry I did not realise you were together…’
She turned and hurried downstairs ahead of John.
Phillip looked up at John, who descended behind her.
‘I have estate business to review,’ John said. ‘I shall not join you outside.’
Phillip nodded but he looked confused when his gaze returned to Katherine.
She was so glad to see Phillip that when he offered his hand, she hugged him instead. ‘Katherine, is something wrong?’ he whispered against her hair before she let him go.
She forced a smile as his gaze met hers, visibly wondering what was wrong.
‘Mary has suggested we play badminton, in pairs. Will you play?’
‘Of course.’ She bit her lip, to force away the tears that threatened. John was still behind her. Deliberately smiling brightly, she looked back at John, forcing happiness into her voice. She did not wish him to know how much he had hurt her. ‘Goodbye.’
His eyes were blank and his expression granite. ‘Enjoy your game.’
She turned away, wishing to leave immediately, but she could hardly do that. Instead she smiled until her cheeks ached. She even laughed when she played badminton with Jenny, Phillip and Mary, desperately hoping John would hear and think she had not been hurt at all. She had learned many things from John during their dalliance and the most significant was how to hide how she felt.
Yet, John’s family did not hide their disappointment that John had stayed indoors. When the game finished, she, Jenny and Phillip drank lemonade with his parents on the terrace, and Mary complained that John had become a bore.
‘He is busy with the estate,’ John’s stepfather said.
His mother spoke then. ‘I admit, though, Mary, I had also hoped, as he asked us here, he would keep us company some of the time.’
‘Give him time,’ his stepfather answered.
John had said he did not feel a part of his family, but by the sound of their conversation, he kept himself apart from them.
When eventually Phillip handed Katherine back up into his curricle, after Jenny, he said in a low voice, ‘Are you well? You look pale, Kate.’
Perhaps she had not hidden her distress as well as she had thought.I am heart sore and silly, pining for a man who can never love me.‘I did not eat much luncheon.’
13
John slid his hands into his trouser pockets and watched Katherine bid farewell to her reverend. At least it was Phillip who was driving her home and not that man. Her parents had already gone on ahead while his stood behind him.
He’d had little opportunity to watch Katherine in the church, with the Pembroke pew packed to the brim with his fidgeting brothers and sisters.
Phillip approached Katherine and took her arm.
Jealousy and longing shot through John. He wished to be able to touch her. He wanted to hear her voice and feel her touch on him. But he was doing the right thing. He had to let her go. Yet it was not only his sacrifice, but hers. He had seen the sadness in her eyes when he had told her it was over.
What must she think of him?
Had he killed whatever it was in her she called love?
Sometimes he thought some sort of madness had overcome him as far as Katherine was concerned. How had he ever thought it had been the right thing to do, to steal her innocence when he had nothing to offer in return?She is right – I am spoilt and selfish.
He was going to change.
