Page 86 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
‘I thought why was my question, Mama.’
Her hands were trembling.
John poured her a brandy and took it to her.
‘I am not talking to you about it,’ she whispered harshly, shaking her head and refusing the brandy.
‘I am not accusing you, Mama. I can see from the statements it was not your choice. I merely want to know why Grandfather took me back and not you? Why did you live like that for so long?’
Her eyes flashed.
He set the glass down on his desk.
She backed away, walking behind the chair, as though seeking refuge, and she held its back.
The door opened.
They both looked across as Edward entered. ‘What is it?’ he asked jovially, looking at John. ‘Mary is wondering where you have gone. The supper dance is next and you had promised it—’ He stopped when he saw John’s mother. ‘Ellen, what is wrong?’ Edward crossed the room.
In the next moment she was sobbing into Edward’s cravat.
Guilt punched him. But why should he feel guilty? He had a right to know. While he had endured a lonely childhood, she had… It was unthinkable. He had not even been Jemima’s age when this had begun.
‘He knows,’ his mother whispered. ‘He had Mr Harvey investigate my past.’
Edward’s brow furrowed and he glared at John.
John stared back.
‘Why would you do that?’ Edward challenged.
‘Because you would not tell me.’ John leaned his buttocks back against the desk and folded his arms again. ‘I know about the card game you had with Lord Gainsborough.’
Edward’s eyes suddenly blazed with fury, and he stepped forward, his hands becoming fists, as though he would hit John.
John merely said to his mother, ‘Tell me what happened. Why did Grandfather not help you?’
‘Why do this tonight, John? It is Mary’s evening. She has waited years for this.’ Bitterness and disgust burned in Edward’s voice.
John stood up straight. ‘While I have waitedall my life… I did not plan for this to happen tonight. Harvey just turned up. He did not know about the ball.’
John picked up the glass his mother had not touched, and held it out to Edward, who accepted it. He picked up his own. ‘But there is a reason why I needed to know now. I sacked Mr Wareham.’
Edward sighed. ‘And what does that have to do with it?’
‘He has been fleecing Grandfather for years, he has stolen thousands. Harvey has not found the money yet, so Wareham has not been charged. But he is greedy and malicious. Since I sacked him, he has been trying to blackmail me with the knowledge of Mama’s past, saying if I did not give him money he would make your history public. How would you rather I found out the truth, from you or from the broadsheets?’ John looked at his mother. ‘I admit, I was hurt by the fact he could threaten me with something you had not cared to share. And you would not even tell me when I asked.’ He looked back to his father. ‘But I did not pick tonight to tell you. Harvey just happened to obtain the information today. I am sorry, but having read it, I could not go back in that room and pretend I had not seen it.’
He looked at his mother.
Her gaze softened, and instead of anger and disappointment he saw pity. But when she approached him to offer comfort he leaned away.
Her hands dropped to her sides. ‘He did not give me a choice, John. When your father died, I was stranded on the continent. I had no money to bring you home. Your grandfather had disowned me. I wrote, begging him and your father’s family for help. My father came. But by then a man was supporting me. It was innocent at first. I thought it was kindness. I had not realised there was a price, but I could not live on the street. My father took you away from me and told everyone I was dead. But you knew I was not, John. I ensured you knew. In the beginning, when I managed to get back to England, I wrote to your nursery maid, who had looked after me too, and she would bring you to meet me. That was why my father sent you to a boarding school, because he found out. But then you were old enough for me to write, and I wrote to you all the time.’
John finished his drink and set the glass down, then opened his arms to her. She came into his embrace, and he held her tightly. His grandfather would think this weakness. John no longer cared for anything that man had said.
Her fingers brushed John’s hair off his brow as she pulled away, as she had done when he was small.
He took a deep breath. ‘I am sorry.’
