Page 90 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
Why did he have to come now?
‘You must listen to me.’
Without turning, she met his gaze in the mirror. He was a few feet behind her, and the door stood wide open beyond him. ‘You can have nothing to say I want to hear.’
‘Katherine.’ His hand lifted and he moved forward with earnest eyes. Not the duke, John. Her traitorous heart leapt out to him. But there was no future with him. He did not love her. He had insulted her.
The rage which had consumed her weeks ago flared back to life and she spun to face him, certain her anger burned in her eyes though she kept her voice to a harsh whisper, so her family would not hear. They were eating breakfast in the next-door room. They must have assumed the visitor was Richard too. ‘I am marrying Richard in two days, John. Go away. You will destroy everything.’
‘Let me speak, please? That is all I ask.’
She hated John suddenly, with a passion that overwhelmed her, and yet she loved him too. His striking pale blue eyes held hers, and his hand slipped through his ebony hair. She remembered the same gesture from watching him in the lake years ago.Oh, John, go away. Go away before I cannot let you go again.
He stepped closer, and she couldn’t step away. ‘I love you, Katherine. I want to marry you.’
She shook her head. He was mad. Mere weeks ago he had offered her the position of mistress once more. ‘No. You do not love me, and I am already promised.’
‘I am serious. Listen to me.’ His whisper carried on the air and she hoped Castle had not hovered outside the door. ‘I need you. You are not his. You are mine. I cannot live without you.’
‘His…?’
‘Your saintly reverend.’
She knew exactly who he meant, she was challenging the way he had spoken.
‘Do not marry him. I want you. Marry me.’
He was selfish to the last. He begrudged her even the possibility of happiness. ‘And I suppose what I want does not matter.’
‘What you want is me. You said you loved me.’
He was so arrogant. Why must he do this now? And why did her foolish heart have to listen? She had never seen him so emotional, not even when he was young. But she could not trust him. She would be secure with Richard. Richard loved her. ‘Not any more, John.’ It was a lie. There was unbearable pain in her heart. ‘Go away.’ Her whisper lowered. ‘I am marrying Richard.’
He held her hand. ‘No. Marry me. Why would you choose him?’
Because you were not here, and you did not offer, and…‘You do not love me, John.’
‘I do, Katherine. I swear it. Listen to me. I thought I could not, but now I know I was wrong. I will fight for you if I must. I shall not give you up. Let him find someone else. You would be a duchess, not a reverend’s wife.’
She tugged against his grip. ‘Three weeks ago you wanted me as your mistress. What has changed? Nothing. This is just jealousy.’ He looked as though her words had pierced him and his hold tightened.
‘You are hurting me, John.’
His eyes clouding with confusion, he let her hand go and took a breath. ‘I… I cannot lose you. It has taken me too long to make this offer. Yes, I was an idiot before. But accept me now and have done. I beg you.’ He dropped to one knee.
‘Get up, John, I do not want you to beg. Please go. Richard will be here in a moment. Do not ruin this for me…’
‘It cannot be too late, Katherine.’
Her heart bled to see him so humble, but how could she believe him, when she knew his pride and possessiveness? He had always had what he wished, and now it seemed he wanted her. But she could not become a duchess. She shook her head as she whispered her denial. ‘It is too late, John. Just go. Please.’
She freed her hand.
He stood. She could see he had given in. ‘I have made a fool of myself then. I have lost you.’ His voice was husky with emotions.
She said nothing. If she tried to speak again she would only cry. Yet she longed to hold him and be held by him. Richard’s physical comfort had never felt the same as John’s.
His eyes, which were normally hard diamonds, were melted ice. ‘Katherine, do not send me away.’
