Page 91 of The Scandalous Love of a Duke
She shook her head, fearing if she spoke she might change her mind. She turned and looked at the hearth. She could not bear to face him anymore. He had been unreachable all her life and now if she wanted him, she only had to say. She did not.
She heard him leave the room, and heard the front door open and Castle say, ‘Your Grace.’ It closed.
Katherine collapsed into a chair and wept.
Richard arrived barely a quarter of an hour later.
By then she had composed herself and she walked into the hall to greet him as she always did. Yet she could not deceive nor use him any more – nor deceive herself. She could never let Richard touch her in a marriage bed. She could not marry him. She still loved John.
Her father was in the hall, having realised it was not Richard who had called previously. ‘Why did the Duke of Pembroke pay his call?’ he asked Katherine.
‘What has happened?’ Richard was beside her in a moment and his arm was about her. He guided her back into the parlour and closed the door on her father.
He had been her defender and her sanctuary for the last two years. He did not deserve what she was about to do to him. She met his gaze.
‘Katherine?’
‘Ask Castle to send for tea if you wish some, and then I need to speak to you.’
‘What did Pembroke have to say?’ Richard did not move. ‘Tell me?’ He held her hand.
The gesture reminded her of John clasping her hand only moments before and tears spilled over, trickling down her cheeks.
‘Tell me,’ Richard urged.
She had to. She had to be honest with him. ‘I cannot marry you. I still love him.’ Anger flashed in his eyes and she felt deceitful and false, as though she had tricked him.
He did not let go of her hand. ‘I suppose he came to buy you back. What has he promised you? Do not cheapen yourself, Katherine.’
‘He asked me to be his wife.’
‘His wife?’
‘He begged me. But I cannot do it. He does not love me. He is just jealous of you. But, I am sorry, he made me realise I cannot accept you either. You are a good man, and a good friend, but I love John.’
His gaze narrowed to a glare but unlike John, Richard did not argue nor plead. He let go of her hand. ‘Very well, as you wish.’ He probably knew her better than John did; no matter what he said she would not change her mind. ‘I shall say goodbye then.’ She nodded, not knowing what to say. She was hurting him as John had hurt her.
Why can I not love where it is sensible to love?‘I am sorry,’ she said again as he turned.
He looked back. ‘I understand how you feel for him; it is how I feel for you.’ She was crushing this good, opened-hearted man. She was as cruel as John. ‘I shall resign the parish today. I can no more stay now than we could have stayed together.’ He turned and left.
Her legs felt unsteady as she went into the hall, desperate for the safety of her room.
‘Whose?’ Phillip’s voice bellowed through the door that Castle held open.
She heard Richard speaking outside, in a low bitter tone, but she could not make out the words.
‘How long have you known this?’ Phillip shouted.
Oh no! No!Richard had told him.
Her father was standing just inside the door, looking at her with accusation in his eyes.
Phillip came through the door, his expression one of fury, his hands clenched into fists. ‘He says you are with child. Are you?’
She said nothing. She could not breathe.
Phillip glared, and behind him their father had flushed red with anger. ‘Well, of course you are. Why would a reverend lie?’
