Page 102 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
‘Dance with me.’ It was not a question but a statement, as he steered her into a newly begun waltz.
Heart-sore and numb, she let herself be led.
The waltz was fast-paced, and he spun her aggressively into a turn. ‘What is that boy to you?’
‘It is none of your concern.’ Her pitch was as flat and as hollow as her heart.
‘Have your tastes turned to that of your sister’s now?’
That was what Drew had accused her of too, of being like Elizabeth. Elizabeth who used young men like toys for her pleasure. No, she was not like Elizabeth, nor like Albert who had taken her youth and love and ruined her. Rob had helped her build her life, she would give him the time to build his.
Yet… she awakened.Why am I dancing with him?She stopped mid-turn, withdrawing her hand from his and breaking free from his arm, leaving him to stumble. ‘I will not dance with you.’
‘I suppose you would rather be with that child?’ he snarled.
A slight smile touched her lips as instead of seeing a monster she saw a bully. She had told Rob his motivations may come from a sense of inferiority, but at least his feelings led to a desire to do good, because he was not inferior to anyone. Albert threatened, beat and bullied others because he was afraid people would discover he was inferior to everyone in everything… including, in her case, not being able to father a child.
She did not respond to him, bullies wanted attention. He used his aggression to feel powerful. If she did not give him any power, he gained nothing. She turned and walked to Drew, the air full of whispers, as people discussed the scenes she had played a part in this evening.
‘May we leave?’ she asked.
‘Now?’ Drew’s eyebrows lifted and his eyes widened.
‘Yes. I spoke to Rob and he has gone. I have no reason to stay.’
Drew’s eyes glistened with sympathy. ‘It was the right thing to do.’
‘I know. I do not want to go back to Pembroke House, Drew. May we go home? These people are his family, he should feel able to visit them and while he remains angry with me, if I am there he will not.’
‘We cannot leave London tonight, Caro, it is too late.’
‘But in the morning, then. You and Mary do not have to leave, you can just take me.’
‘Very well, if that is what you want to do.’
‘Oh, Caro, I am sorry Lord Kilbride spoilt this for you.’ Mary joined them.
‘She wishes to go home to the estate,’ Drew told her.
‘Oh, Caro.’
‘Albert has not spoilt this,’ Caro answered firmly. ‘I just realised I do not want to be in London. I prefer the country, so why am I here?’
‘We will all leave first thing tomorrow morning,’ Drew said.
‘Come, we will tell John and Katherine.’ Mary’s arm looped about Caro’s.
51
Rob walked quickly, his arms swinging with his long strides, as his greatcoat swayed about his calves.
He knew,God, he knew, he had broken a rule of morality when he began an affair with Caro, a divorcee, a former Marchioness. A woman whom scandal had already surrounded. He had made her reputation worse and cut his own heart in two.
He gritted his teeth against the anger in his blood. A few days ago, she told him he came across as feeling inferior, even though she thought he was not inferior to anyone. Then at the ball she told him he was too young to be certain that he loved her.
Harry and his cousins, those Caro thought he felt inferior to, would laugh their heads off if they heard how he had lost his virginity, fallen in love, and then been told he was too young to know what love was.
‘Of course you will think you have fallen in with love me. The act of making love may have confused you, and what will you feel in a year or two,’she had said.
