Page 4 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
Drew’s hold tightened on her hand as though he felt her hesitation.
Caro focused on Mary, and Iris in her arms, her heartbeat galloping. This panic was irrational, she knew, yet her whole body screamed its desire to run away. Fear hemmed her in and tightened about her chest like a band of iron, making it difficult to breathe.
Flashes of memories sparked, images, there then not, like lightning. Moments of pain when she was struck. Moments of embarrassment when she was bruised. Moments of self-disgust when Albert had berated her for her failings.
‘Look what I found,’ Drew said to Mary.
Mary patted a vacant space beside her on the blanket, smiling a welcome.
Caro fought the growing pain in her chest as she sat down. The sight of Iris asleep in Mary’s arms eased Caro’s panic, replacing the emotions with love.
‘Would you hold her?’ Mary asked. ‘Then I can find something to eat. I am so hungry.’
‘Yes, of course.’
Mary was a good friend, a good sister, she never made Caro feel uncomfortable or unwanted.
When Caro took Iris from Mary, her little hands opened, her fingers uncurling and stretching, as her eyelids flickered, but she did not wake.
Drew reached across Caro and brushed his daughter’s cheek with a hooked forefinger. Iris’s eyelids popped open and she looked at her papa.
‘Poppet,’ he whispered.
Iris gurgled in recognition.
‘Aun’ie Ca’o!’ George barrelled into Caro’s side, tumbling onto the blanket with a roll. She lay one arm about George while the other braced Iris, and the world was at peace.
‘I hit a ball with Uncle Bobbie,’ George announced.
‘I held the bat with him.’ The next words had come from above them.
Mary looked up. Caro did not as Robbie’s voice grated on her nerves.
‘I hit it far,’ George declared, slipping from beneath Caro’s arm to hug his mother instead.
‘Clever boy,’ Mary praised her son. ‘Perhaps Uncle Robbie will teach you how to hold the bat yourself while he stays with us.’
‘I cannot believe I missed this marvellous feat,’ Drew said. ‘You will have to do it again after luncheon so I may see you, George.’
Robbie stood too near, Caro’s nerves tingled. She wished he would go away. Instead, he knelt on the end of the blanket, near Mary’s feet.
Panic claimed Caro in full force, her chest became so tight the breath had to fight its way to her lungs. Iris cried out as Caro’s fingertips pressed into her soft thigh.
‘Sorry, perhaps, she is hungry. I will feed her before I eat myself.’ Mary gave her son a squeeze, then let him go and stood. ‘Come along, little one.’ She reached down so Caro could pass Iris back.
Robbie’s gaze fell on Caro as she gave Iris up. She could feel him not just looking but watching her.
As Mary walked away, Drew sat next to Caro, in the space Mary had moved from. He leaned back on his hands and stretched out his legs. ‘You know your mother is taking your absconding personally,’ he said to Robbie.
George crawled over to his father.
With nothing to do with her arms, Caro adjusted her sitting position, raising her knees within the skirt of her dress and hugging her legs, as she tried to slow her breathing and her heartbeat.
‘Mama is not ready for me to leave the nest, we are all growing up too fast.’
Drew raised his eyebrows for a moment as he pulled George on to his lap and ruffled his hair. ‘And I snatched Mary from her nest.’
‘She does not hold that against you. You are giving her grandchildren. It is an exchange. I will just be a loss.’
