Page 63 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
‘I am sure he prefers the company of his friends over a brother.’
Caro smiled, because that would be Drew’s answer. His friends had been more brotherly to them than their half-brothers.
Mary read, ‘I am very much looking forward to you all coming to town. We shall have to take George to the park. I know John is here already, but I have not seen him. Yet it heralds your arrival and so I am now looking forward to it even more. I am reminded of the night we attended the assembly rooms, the first night Caro danced, and I am looking forward to challenging her to dance at some grand ball.’
Caro thought of their moments in the churchyard, not the dancing. She had thought he would forget her, yet his letterscontinued to speak to her, telling her he still wanted her to go to London.
‘I gather from your letters, Caro continues to recover from her fear and so I hope she will be happy to accept my challenge. Tell Drew I saw Mark Harper. He said he visited you recently and noticed the change in Caro. It was good to hear the children are well, and that little Iris is sitting up. They grow so fast, do they not? I am glad you are bringing the children to town so I will see them. Give them a kiss from me, and say my hello to Drew, and send my fond regards to Caro. Please tell her she must be prepared to dance. Your adoring brother, Rob.’ Mary folded the letter and smiled at Caro.
Drew smiled too.
Tears clutched at the back of her throat. She nodded and stood. ‘I must leave. Isabella wanted to show me something in their garden before we take luncheon.’
‘Enjoy your day,’ Drew said.
She nodded, then walked from the room, her heart racing as tears distorted her view of the hall. Rob said something to show he remembered every time he wrote, yet she was still scared of seeing him again, because he may think of her now, but the longer this went on the more it would hurt when his feelings faded. When she went to London, he might realise how foolish he had been. After all, during their summer they were isolated here, and among others in town he might see her differently.And reject me– she realised that was still her worst fear.
And… the tears rolled onto her cheeks. Even if he did not reject her, she should stop this. Where was it to go? She could not be a wife because she could not carry a child. It was an affair that must end.
She forced the thought away and wiped the tears from hercheeks with the cuff of her sleeve. She often forced the pain of a broken heart away since Rob’s departure.
The footman entered the hall.
‘Would you please have the stables prepare my trap?’ The trap was similar to Mary’s, a gift from Drew, along with her own pony.
She climbed the stairs, then, to fetch a bonnet.
There was no point in crying over spilt milk. Her life was better thanks to knowing Rob, she would never regret that, and when they went to London in a fortnight, she would encourage him to forget her. Then when she returned, she would continue to remember their summer with fondness and carry on with her new life.
She had said she expected nothing from him. She would honour her promise and cut the ties between them now, before it would be more painful.
34
The street was full of noise and bustle; vendors shouted out their wares from the kerb, the clop of horses’ hooves on cobbles and the rumble of iron-rimmed carriage wheels. She had become too used to the country. There were vehicles everywhere in London. She had forgotten all of this haste and clamour. Her sensitive nerves screamed as Drew’s carriage bounced over an uneven area of the cobbles.
She looked at him.
He smiled.
They had not spoken for the last hour, because George was curled into Drew’s side fast asleep, while Iris slept in his arms and Mary against his shoulder on the other side to George.
Caro sighed. She was not certain she should be here. But Rob had kept his promise and spoken to her in his letters, and she had promised to come.
Many things they said to one another in the summer played through her thoughts during the journey.
They were to stay in John’s town house. She had never visitedthe house before. She had not been to London for over three years – since she left Albert.
As the carriage rolled on through London’s busy streets, her palms became damp and she felt cold with nerves.
Albert would be in town, sitting in the House of Lords. Of course, she knew that when she said she would come. It was testimony to how much she wished to see Rob. Pain and fear twisted in her stomach when she thought of Albert, as the carriage travelled towards his house…
‘You will have a dozen or more people about you, at all times,’ Drew said, as though he read her thoughts. ‘You will not be at risk. Besides, Kilbride has his new wife, and his son. I do not think he will pay any attention to your presence.’
No. Yet to know that hurt more than it eased her fear.
She nodded.
Her heart beat in time with the same quick rhythm as the horses’ hooves as the carriage turned into one of the busiest streets near where she used to live. They passed the modiste shop from which she ran. She had not known that day how much her life would change, or how leaving Albert would make her feel.
