Page 80 of The Secret Love of a Gentleman
That fact punched Rob in the chest. He had not known that. ‘Lady Ponsonby…?’
‘Yes. Has she approached you?’
‘God, no.’ Rob shook his head, wondering why the hell John was speaking to him of such things.
‘She likes young men. In fact, she has a passion for them. I only say because I admire your discipline, but I would be on your guard now you are in town. In my innocence, I fell for her charm. It took me until I met Katherine to realise that it had never been true affection, merely a craving. Like wine and the throw of a dice, sex can be a drug of sorts, and some women tempt you and trap you.’
Rob’s lips lifted briefly in a forced smile, trying not to let John see how untimely his warning was.
‘So, what have you been up to? I could put some work your way if you are bored.’
Rob sipped his tea, to calm his response. ‘Thank you, but no, thank you. I want to forge my own path.’
‘That is admirable. I am only glad the income I give you is allowing you the time to consider your choice.’
A bitter taste burned the back of Rob’s throat, and he nearly spat out a mouthful of tea.
John’s smile suddenly twisted sideways, the expression saying he was teasing, as any brother might. ‘Do I annoy you with my largesse?’
Rob sighed, and smiled, taking John’s conversation for what it was – kindness. ‘Yes, I admit. There is nothing fulfilling about living on your charity.’
‘It is not charity. I am giving you a foothold. Accept it for what it is, a gift. You are my brother, you have a right to share in the fortune I have inherited from our grandfather. Drew has made himself on the dowry I gave Mary. He purchased his property with it, but it is he who manages his estate and has achieved the profits. Do you think less of him because he took that money?’
‘Of course not.’
‘Then why do you think less of yourself because I give youmoney? Did you know your father’s property was bought with Mama’s dowry?’
Rob shook his head.
‘Accepting money is not demeaning. It is sensible.’
‘I do not mean to insult you?—’
‘I am not insulted. I can imagine how difficult it must be to carve your own path in the world behind a brother who is a Duke. But you will, and I hope you will use my gift to help.’
‘Are you telling me to stop sulking?’
John laughed. ‘Perhaps. Was that all I needed to say?’
‘I was not sulking. I was thinking.’
‘Very well, keep thinking. But while you do, give yourself permission to be young. You are far too sober at times. I know you well enough to guess you have a vision for yourself, with some high ideal. Neither Papa nor I would hold you down, but we do want to see you happy.’
‘Your Graces,’ Finch called across the room as another stranger walked in beside him. ‘Lady Newbury.’
Another round of introductions ended their conversation.
After his dull day in the drawing room, because he said he wanted to spend some time with his family, it would have looked odd if Rob did not accept an invitation to dine with them.
So, in the evening, he attended Aunt Penny’s and Uncle Richard’s home, for a meal to which all the family who were in London had been invited. Of course, now Caro was more confident, she was seated between men, neither of which was him. He had escorted one of his young female cousins in to dine, having been nowhere near Caro when supper was announced. He was also at the other end of the table from her.
At Rob’s end of the table, the topic of conversation turned to,what might Rob do with his life?He was not sure who began it, but everyone about the lower end of the table started recommending occupations, and it became an amusement with silly suggestions.
‘Elephant trainer!’ his cousin Eleanor said. A round of laughter followed.
His stomach roiled with embarrassment, as he felt his cheeks burn. He did not look at Caro, but kept his gaze on his glass of wine, or his plate, despite sensing her gaze on him.
His male, entitled, cousins had something to say, of course.
